The Misadventures of Suzie

Alas, my muse hath deserted me.

2006-11-12T17:12:00.000+01:00

Or, I just cannae write nuffing anymore. Don't know what's happened really - I just can't seem to focus on writing. Other stuff has taken it's place. Namely life and it's various hills and valleys. You see? The preceeding is not a good piece of writing. Sorry.

Haven't done anything with the photography either, except a couple at my graduation, and I was only in them - I didn't take them. Shockingly, even the cooking has gone AWOL. Well, I made choc-chip muffins for my lunch tomorrow, but other than than it's been fairly run of the mill. Oh, except the rather delicious carrot cake I made. Oh, and the choc espresso cake I made to take into work...I'm just contradicting myself here, aren't I?

Right, so, what's new? Well, work is fine. Not thrilling, but fine. And I'm having the same problem as Jen - I'm not motivated with the spending. Which is actually a good thing. I suppose. Just been up to the usual - coffee, cake, tottie-spotting, Edinburgh, cake...and so on.

My lack of motivation has inspired me to, er, get motivated. My copy of the Writers' and Artists' Yearbook will shortly be winging it's way towards me and I'm back on the hunt for media-related jobs. Plus, I'm trying to organise a wee photography trip somewhere with big bro as well. And I quite fancy have a go at snowboarding, too.So things will get a trifle more interesting. I hope.

Now, I'm going to and eat one of the aforementioned muffins. Well, I did make six...

Congraduations to me

2006-11-07T20:34:00.000+01:00

Well, I finally graduated. Three long, long years of work. Tears, tantrums, heartbreaks, laughs and strangeness. Essays on Transactional Analysis and lecturers who said, 'I reserve the right to tell you your work isn't good enough. I also reserve the right not to give you a reason why.'

And it's all over. Finished. Done with for good. And do you know, in spite of myself, I got a bit emotional.

Now, don't get me wrong here - I don't miss it. I really, truly don't. Most of it wasn't good. Some of it was too bad too articulate. But I worked bloody hard, and it's been a pretty damn bumpy three years too. You might say, it's end of an era, you might.

So. That's it. Question is, where now?

I'm sorry, I haven't a clue

2006-11-05T13:07:00.000+01:00

how to start this post. I haven't been in the mood to write much recently - too exhausted. *self-pity alert* These early starts are hard work. Work is ok - the people seem nice on the whole, and a couple I get on quite well with. One thing that I knew that has been reinforced is that I really need to get more confidence in myself and be better at sticking up for myself. There was a couple of mistakes made, which really weren't my fault - mis-communication or even just nothing to do with me, and yet I got so upset about them. I really, really need to develop a thicker skin. Something to work on.

What else have I missed? Ah yes, last weekend I went through to Edinburgh, and spent some quality time with some fabulous people. I meant to come back on Saturday night, but frankly, I couldn't be bothered. At 1.30am the doorbell went and Raey flew up squeaking with excitement. Turned out it was G's boyfriend who had driven all the way from Aberdeen to surprise her. And Raey had known all along. I must say, she is a bloody good actress - we didn't have a clue. So the evening was spent eating pizza, garlic bread and nachos and watching some truly, stonkingly, bad movies. Such as Halloween Pt. 344. Oops, sorry, I meant Halloween: Resurrection. Which played more like a comedy that a horror. Or Unconditional Love, which featured Kathy Bates singing and Rupert Everett in a blue sequin suit. Really, you have to see it to believe it. In fact, we did wonder if the pizza had contained some hallucinogen that Pizza Hut had failed to mention, it was that, er, interesting. I tried and failed to get some sleep, so in the end I watched quite a lot of News 24 and then a variety of interesting kids' tv, including an animation about a wee boy who couldn't speak, he just went 'boing boing' instead. On the whole, the weekend had a slightly surrealist touch about it.

I did nothing yesterday. I flumped and that's about it, really. Today, I really do have to get my bum in gear - I've got paperwork to fill out, job application to do, general tidying and I'm going to bake a cake to take to work in celebration of my graduation tomorrow night. Oh, and M and H are coming over for their tea, which I have to make as well. Better skidaddle.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2006-10-27T19:26:00.000+01:00

Apologies, readers, for the silence. I have to admit the 7am alarm has worn me down a tad. It has seriously affected my mental faculties, too - for example, my mum booked me a hair appointment yesterday, and I managed to go into the wrong salon. Yes - I went in, told them my name, my appointment and got blank looks. You see, the salon I wanted was in fact three doors down. Thing is, the lady at the desk said, 'ah, you've got an appointment with Audrey? You want a few doors up.' So clearly I'm not the only person who's made this faux-pas. I have to admit, I was so tired, I couldn't be bothered to be embarrassed.

As for the job, it seems to be going quite well. I haven't blown the place up yet, and there always seems to be chocolate in the office, so it's all good if you ask me. Oh, and I finally know my pay date, so I'm happy.

Let me see - hairdo issues, new job...what else? Ah yes, dinner with my big bruv and his gal pal. We went here and the food was nice, though the service was slow. Then again, the service was also rather attractive, so I'll let that one slide. Good evening, really - except for the montrous rain which put a dampener on things, really. Nope - I'm not going to apologise for that awful joke, either.

This weekend will be spent recuperating in the company of my dearest, bestest buddy, G during which time we will no doubt bury ourselves in scandalous gossip and eat a lot of cake. Perfect.

And it went...

2006-10-23T18:58:00.000+01:00

...well! I'm cream crackered now, though.

Started at 10am, had a wee tour of the building, met my co-workers, got shown my welcome pack and my desk. Actually, credit to them, the welcome pack was quite good. It had a birds-eye view of the room, with names of who sat where on it. Genius! Especially if you're me, who often stands with a gaping mouth when required to remember someone's name.

Spent most of the day assembling ring-binders to be sent out to schools. I never, ever want to see a poly-pocket again. Wouldn't mind a Polly Pocket, though.

They also told me they'd booked me a space on the Christmas night out, in case I fancied it - we'll be going here, and I'm drooling already. Oh, and Òran Mór means Big Song, I think. That's the only Gaelic I know. Well, that and 'Dè a-nis?' which I'm fairly certain means, 'what now?'

Anyway.

I've just gorged myself on carrot cake, and, after I've made tomorrow's lunch (some kind of pasta salad methinks) I'm going to put my pyjamas on, and spend a delicious hour in the company of that unholy trinity of Clarkson, Hammond and May. Fabulous.

C'est très étrange!

2006-10-22T10:56:00.000+01:00

Glasgow, that is. Well, yesterday, I had a funny ol' day.

Originally I popped into town to try and get a stand-by haircut with a well known chain of hairdressers. Pfft. Went to three before I got an appointment, which was fine because it was Saturday. Got told to come back at 12.45pm and, 'Barry would squeeze me in.' (Sounded painful, but alright.) So I toddle off and have a quick cuppa with my Mum and her friend. People - I turned down a free lunch because I thought I didn't have time. I go back round for my appointment and I have this snooty moo, (who was around 50 and had half her hair dyed green - not a good look) look me up and down, and say in a thoroughly snidey and patronizing manner, 'no, we don't have any appointments left.' Won't be going back there again. The conclusion to this tale, is that I have a vast and unsightly mop of hair for starting work tomorrow. *sigh*

When the haircut thing didn't work out, I though I'd pop into the west end for a nosey about the delis. Into Roots 'n' Fruits I went and came out with the cutest baby aubergines and cherry tomatoes on the vine. I restrained myself from buying the mini pumpkins though. Then on to Byres Road, where I'm ambling along in my usual head-in-cloud-cuckoo-land manner when I hear shouting and look up. Well, it took me a few seconds to realise the shouting people were in fact my big bro and his gal. We had a brief chat, while I showed H the halloween costume I had procured (God help me) and we agreed to meet in half an hour for some coffee and cake in the coffee house. Two seconds later I was about to pop into the fishmongers and saw a French man (actually French!) wearing - get this - a black beret, proclaim, 'Langoustines! C'est manifique!' How fabulous is that? And then, about a minute later, slightly further down the street I came across a money/awareness raising stall for.....the Communist Party. Yup - one strange old day, I tell you.

Today will be getting organised for work, making my lunch (cous cous with roasted veg and feta, in case anyone is curious) and trying in vain to tidy my bedroom.

Argh. No, no, I'm perfectly calm. I'm perfectly calm. Oy yes, siree bob. Calm. Indeedeeo.

To apply, or not to apply?

2006-10-19T00:23:00.000+01:00

An entertainment guide are looking for food reviewers. Around 200 words, around about 2 restaurants a week for, er, a few weeks. Think I should give this a go, readers? I'm having an attack of the I-can't-possibly-write-anything-decent-and-be-paid-for-it nerves. Although I highly doubt I would get picked anyway, so I may as well give it a go. And then of course, there is the free food. Free food. Hm. It's a no-brainer, really, isn't it?

Oh, Lordy

2006-10-18T11:21:00.000+01:00

Well, I finally have a start date. And now, I'm very nervous. I know, everyone feels like this. Just got to grit my teeth and get on with it. Also, I'm rather eager to find out when I'm getting paid - money has seriously been stressing me out. The thought of being able to buy, say a magazine or a pair of tights withput staring into the depths of my purse with a quivering lip is delicious.

Today, however, I'm spending with my mum. We're going to have a squint at the cheese shop, then go for a toddle round the west end. Maybe taking in some coffee and cake at one of the many new establishments that have sprung up recently. Nice.

At some point this week, I also have to finish off all the various bits and pieces of stuff I've started - sorting paperwork, for example - and also sort out my costume for a Rocky Horror themed Halloween party I'm going to next week. Gee, thanks for picking that theme, Rach. This will be tricky - there is not a hope in hell of me going out in public wearing suspenders.

And on that lovely image, I shall bid you fairwell.

Some things I've done...

2006-10-15T22:11:00.000+01:00

over the last couple of weeks:

*Received the nicest text message from G, that absolutely made my day.
*Made pumpkin and chorizo risotto. And quite a lot else, but I won't bore you!

*Had a minor kerfuffle with my previous employers over their, well, their incompetence.

*Attempted to tackle some of those jobs that I've been putting off for, ooh, about a year.

*Watched Top Gear clips on You Tube obsessively.

*Went to a funeral :-(

*Swore at my PC as it went tits up for the fifty-first time.

*Celebrated my Dad's birthday.

*Got some new clothes for work. If I ever actually start, that is.

*Drank a lot of coffee.

*Tottie-spotted in a bar with N.

And I'm sure many other things, but I can't remember. Tomorrow will consist of yet more conversations with employers old and new, more tidying, and perhaps some cooking.

I really want to bake another cake. But I won't - I shall remain strong, goddamit!

I want one.

2006-10-11T18:58:00.000+01:00

It's no Lamborghini Murcielago or Aston Martin Vanquish, but I think it's be quite nifty for popping down the shops. No problem getting a parking space, anyway.

Bit of a wobble.

2006-10-11T11:55:00.000+01:00

I'm having a bit of a wobble. OK, OK, if I'm going to be truthful, my life so far has been one giant wobble.

At the moment, I'm looking into the possibility of going to uni in Edinburgh. That was the plan for last year, but things got in the way. It seems very appealing right now - change of scene, new people. The whole shebang. Getting away from here, and all the reminders of things I'd like to forget, and all the stress, sounds like what I need. I have blogged about personal-ish things on here, but have been keen to avoid making it too 'dear diary' so you'll forgive me if I don't go into details on here.

It's 'wait and see' time, though. At this stage, I don't know how things will fall. Although I am aware that the decisions I make will have a huge effect. I'm not the bravest, or most confident of people, but I think now it's time I really took charge of things and have more faith in myself to get it right.

Um. Clever title pending. Again.

2006-10-10T13:27:00.000+01:00

My photography has gone down hill recently, I fear. I just haven't had the opportunity or inclination to take anything very...good. Although I have started a new photo-related project - I've started to archive all the old photo of the family. My gran, my mum as a wee girl and so on. There are some of great-grandparents floating around as well. I really enjoy these old images - the hope, the happy events, the joy of seeing your dad in shorts and t-bar shoes. Priceless. Unfortunately, most of the photos are still in the attic, gathering dust.

Hm. Apparently my writing has gone a bit crap as well. Too much going on in my head. I'm hoping once I get started at work, and know where I am with time, money and so on, I'll feel better able to get on with the creative stuff. Argh - when am I going to get a bleeding start date!?

Food, glorious food

2006-10-07T15:28:00.000+01:00

and if I'm not careful, I'm going to end up very fat indeed.

Unfortunately, I have recently discovered the world of food blogs and message boards. So many recipes, so little time or inclination to exercise. Added to this the very long list of foodie books that I intend on buying when I'm earning and I'm in very hot water indeed.

Right now, I'm been selecting recipes I really would like to try (only from the web - not any from books yet) - and remember this is ones I really, really want to try - and I've clocked up a list of nearly 150. I really have to narrow it down, don't I? Well OK, I'll try, but I'm not making any promises:

1. Le migliori polpette di tonno. I don't care what anyone says - tuna and tomato are a wonderful combination.

2. Smokey Barbecue Baked Beans.

3. Green Tea and Jasmine Turkish Delight.
4. Sticky Toffee Pudding.

Phew. That was a struggle.

Two things are impeding my cooking at the moment:

1. The kitchen looks like an elephant with PMT has recently rampaged through it.
2. I don't have the money to but all the ingredients I would like.

I also have an urge to have people over for dinner - a dinner party, if you will. Never understand why some people find that term downright offensive, but there you are. For the sake of keeping the peace, I shall say, 'I want to have people over for supper.' Anway, not possible just now, as there isn't really anywhere for them to sit. Sigh.

Tonights dinner is very, er, unculinary (I don't think that's a word, but hey ho) - it's macaroni cheese. Yummy yum.

It's naantastic!

2006-10-04T18:55:00.000+01:00

Sorry. Terrible joke. Anyway, I made naan bread, which I haven't done before:

Phototastic

2006-10-03T13:39:00.000+01:00

Some more photos for your delectation. I really, really have to get into this photography thing more.

Hhhhmmmmmmmmm...

2006-10-01T14:14:00.000+01:00

At the moment I'm having a big think.

I haven't been doing much with my brain recently, and looking at others' achievments around me, I'm itching to do something. So, I've got the catalogues for local evening/weekend courses out, looking to see if anything appeals. I earn (or will do) under £15000 a year, so I only have to contribute £10 to each class I take up to the value of £200 a year. There's quite a few I fancy, including Introduction to Forensic Pyschology. I also want to take some kind of cooking course, and really challenge myself with food. And I have a huuuge list of books to start. There's just so, so many things I want to do in life and I am really, really eager to get going. Hopefully, the money I get from my new job will give me some opportunites and more freedom to pursue things.

Now I'm going to go and get stuck into these catalogues and websites and see which I'm going to tackle first...

Autumn

2006-09-28T20:20:00.000+01:00

Ah, Autumn is here. It may mean rivulets of rain down the windows, russet coloured leaves in mounds on the pavements and darkness descending on us at 5pm, but it also means I can again start making hot puddings and stews and all those marvellous wintry things that are hideously out of place next to pomegranate salads and juicy tomatoes and rounds of goats cheese. Today I made the first baked apples of the season. A kind soul had given us a monstrous bag of organic apples, so what choice did I have? The apples, headily scented with cloves and rivers of unctuous golden syrup are ready to served with a dash of cream and a very big spoon.

God, I’ve been reading too much Nigel Slater, haven’t I? At this point, I probably shouldn't mention the vaguely erotic dream in which he featured. Ahem. Definitely too much.

Anyway, still haven’t got a start date for new job. I do however have a desperate yearning to shop. Life’s a bitch, eh?

Oh, and I took this photo:

Alice in Wonderland eat your heart out.

What do your doodles say about you?

2006-09-26T21:01:00.000+01:00

That title sounds a bit dodgy, I admit, but you know what I'm referring to.

Well, I was curious (I very often find myself under a doodle attack) so I Googled it. Of course I appreciate that this is in no way a scientific analysis, but it makes for interesting reading nonetheless.

First up, doodles have been split into several distinct groups:
Geometric shapes
Abstract shapes
Good-looking faces
Weird or ugly faces
Arrows and ladders
Repetitive shapes
Weapons and vehicles
Flowers and curves
Animals
Hearts
Food

I'm no expert, but I would have thought that most peoples doodles fit into one or two groups. Not me, of course, I never do anything by halves. My doodles, when all styles are taken into account, fit into seven of the eleven groups. Now I choose to take this as a compliment - surely it means that I'm a complex, interesting person with many skills. Either that or my brain is fried. Personally, I think it's probably the latter.

So, on the basis of this highly non-scientific study, I:
*have an organised brain, and show clear thought processes, good planning skills and efficiency. (Geometric shapes.)
*am tense, have difficulty concentrating or an inconsistent, sentimental personality. (Abstract shapes.)
*am a people person, who sees the positive in people and situations, is optimistic, friendly and enjoys being around others. (Good-looking faces.)
*have ambition, drive and movement towards a goal. (Arrows.)
* have patience, persistence and the ability to concentrate.
* am all about peace, love and understanding. (Flowers and curves.)
* am in love with love. Bit of a bugger I'm single then, really. (Hearts.)

Looking over the list, I would say quite a lot of that applies to me. I wouldn't agree that I have an inconsistent personality. It might not be great, but goddammit, at least it's consistent.

So, what do your doodles say about you?

Molten Choccie Cakes

2006-09-24T21:48:00.000+01:00

Here we go, the recipe for these delectable individual chocolate cakes:

50g soft unsalted butter, plus more for greasing
350g best dark chocolate
150g caster sugar
4 large eggs, beaten with a pinch of salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
50g plain or Italian 00 flour
6 individual pudding moulds, buttered
baking parchment

Unless you are making these up in advance, preheat the oven to 200°C/gas mark 6, putting in a baking sheet at the same time.

Lay 3 of the moulds on a sheet of doubled baking parchment. Draw round them, remove, and then cut out the discs as marked. Press them all into the base of the tins.

Melt the chocolate and let it cool slightly.

Cream together the butter and sugar, and gradually beat in the eggs and salt, then the vanilla.

Now add the flour, and when all is smoothly combined scrape in the cooled chocolate, blending it to a smooth batter.

Divide the batter between the 6 moulds, quickly whip the baking sheet out of the oven, arrange the little tins on it and replace in the oven.

Cook for 10-12 minutes (the extra 2 minutes will be needed if the puddings are fridge-cold when you start) and as soon as you take them out of the oven, tip out these luscious babycakes onto small plates or shallow bowls.

Serve these with whipped double cream, the same unwhipped in a jug, crème fraiche, crème anglaise or ice cream.

Serves 6.

(Stolen from Nigella.)

Go and make these now!

Of leg wax, piglet burgers and c-list (sorry) celebs.

2006-09-22T22:15:00.000+01:00

Today, I met up with my friend N and baby Aidan. As I was getting ready this morning, I somehow managed to leg wax in my hair. Even by my standards this was quite an achievment. Still, it was too late to do anything about it, so I just had to put up with strangely textured hair. We went to this nice wee pub for a spot of lunch, and each had a butterfly and piglet burger:

and just how cute is the menu?:

We picked up babbie A (He'd been with his dad) and went for coffee. Hm. Food. A theme in my social encounters, it seems!)

I have to say, I'm not a huge Starbucks fan, when I'm in town I prefer Cafe Nero, but they don't do chai.

During our travels we spotted Clare Sweeney. Lovely though I'm sure she is, I don't think she's near the top of exciting celeb spottings table.

This evening I faffed around on Flickr, wrote this and heated up a choccie pudding I made the other day:

Nice plates, right? A wee treat to myself from that mecca of cut price kitchen-wear, Asda.

So that was my day in photos. Now, I'm going to go and tidy up a bit, clean my room and chill out. Tomorrow might be a night out for P's birthday, I'm not sure yet.

Phew, night fellow bloggers.

Well....

2006-09-21T18:06:00.000+01:00

...you are now reading the blog of a bone fide career gal.

:-D

Oh, no :-(

2006-09-20T21:43:00.000+01:00

Just read that Richard Hammond is critically ill in hospital after a car crash. He has a wife and young family, so I hope to God he pulls through. :-(

It's the Pitts

2006-09-20T12:41:00.000+01:00

Sorry. Bad title. But I read this interesting article which partly concerns itself with Brad Pitt's latest announcement that he and Angelina Jolie won't marry until gay marriage is legalised. *Sigh* Let's assume he's well meaning, but does he really believe that will make one iota of difference? Also, it didn't stop him marrying Jennifer Aniston, did it? It seems, from afar, and no doubt to many there, that America is going downhill. Quickly. This is just one area in which the Bush administration has angered and frustrated me. It further frustrates me that celebrities seem to be latching on to these civil rights issues in an attempt (hopefully) to help, but no doubt also to bolster there position in the entertainment world. As the article points out, if they truly want to help (and this applies to many topics, not just gay rights) there are so many more useful ways in which they could do it.

Let's hope they realise that sooner rather than later so we don't have to listen to anymore silly pronouncements.

Extra! Extra!

2006-09-20T12:10:00.000+01:00

Apparently, Kate Moss is to design a collection for Topshop, and is apparently being paid a million quid for it. I can't say I'm as enthused about that as some people. For starters, I've really begun to find her style predicatable, rather than signature. Also, it seems a shame to me that there are so many talented young designers out there who struggle to find paid work and spend literally years as little more than slaves for big brand designers. And there is the fact that if it's Kate Moss endorsed (I can't really see her doing any of the legwork) then it'll be hotpants, skinnies, grandad shirts, waistcoats...basically what's available in every other store (possible better quality) and for a cheaper price tag.

Added to this is the fact that I'm buggered if I can understand the hysteria that surrounds celebrites. Sure, I'll admit to getting a bit of a kick out of spotting a celebrity, but I don't feel any need to buy a product just because their name is on it. The Karl Lagerfeld or Stella McCartney ranges for Topshop, Celine Dion, SJP or Britney's perfume. Just. Don't. Get. It. Unless I like the item, but then that's nothing to do with who's name is plastered all over it.

Sometimes it actively annoyes me. Case in point - the Celia Birtwell range for Topshop. The quality was awful - each garmet couldn't have cost more than say 50p max to produce, yet they were charging £40ish quid for a piece that would, of course, end up on ebay with some numpty paying a hundred smackers for it. Bonkers.

Disclaimer: in the murky world of fashion and celebrity it's hard to tell which news stories (if any) are factually correct, so this may in fact be a load of hooey. Only time will tell.

The day today

2006-09-16T13:30:00.000+01:00

Hello all!

Let's see: well, today I appear to be over my hangover. On Thursday night we managed to polish off five bottles of wine between the four of us. (I was flat sitting for my brother) Not entirely sure how it happened. Anyway, good banter was had as always, including a mini lapdancing tutorial and practice. Apparently, I was quite good and had the 'look' down. Not that I'd take their word for it - after all the wine, anyway!

I headed off to bed and zonked out and woke up around 10ish and then dozed off again. Around 12pm, I decided I really should get up and wash the dishes. So there I was, beautifying myself (ha) when I heard a noise on the landing. I disregarded it, assuming it was the neighbour. But then I heard a key turn in the look. Thoughts raced through my mind, like 'holy God - they aren't back from their holiday already, are they?' So I called out a tentative hello, and heard my brother's mother-in-law to-be shout back 'Hello? Susan? Oh God, H's going to kill me - she told me to phone first!' Well, flustered isn't the word. I was painfully aware of my hair doing an admirable Cousin It impression, the dishes in the kitchen and the empty white bottles.

As it turned out, mother and father-in-law had come over to put up the new light fittings and had assumed I wouldn't be there. Still, it was all fine once my heart retreated from my throat and I spent the afternoon blethering and making cups of tea.

It was lovely to have the place to myself - the peace and quiet was heavenly, and the place is all newly decorated and so lovely. One way and another, the couple of days were quite eventful. Today, I went to Asda looking for an interview outfit. I couldn't decide (I needed a second opinion) so I bought a pair of charcoal pinstrip wool wide leg trousers and a black scoop neck 60s style dress with big button detail and I'll get my Mum's advice after. I had one of those moments where any sense of style I had flew out the window and everything looked to me like a potato sack.

Sigh. Right, I'd better tidy up a bit because the place is a tip.

Whoo!

2006-09-13T12:54:00.000+01:00

I have an interview! It's not my dream job, just clerical work, but the pay is decent and it's only one stop on the train! Ooh, think of the mornings - not having to get up too early. Oh, and the building is nice from the outside. And it's next to a big Asda with a clothes department. Not that these things are important, you understand. Ahem.

Anyhoo, now I have to come up with an interview outift and anticipate questions they'll throw at me, have a mild panic about the fact I might get the job and then I'll be all set.

Thank God for that!

2006-09-11T22:21:00.000+01:00

I passed! I passed! I passed! I passed! I passed! I passed! I passed! I passed! I passed!

Oh, just incase anyone isn't sure, I passed my college course. Finally found out today after a month of waiting, due to an "administrative error". In other words, someone made a very big cock-up. Not only that, but I scored an A in my main project for the second year running. Mini-wave in celebration of me, people please! :-D

Afternoon all.

2006-09-10T12:45:00.000+01:00

Let's see, what have I been up to? Well, Saturday night I had a craving for Mexican food, so I made tortillas/fajitas (whatever they're called - I never said they were authentic!) with chicken, peppers, onions, homemade salsa and guacamole and sour cream. Delicious! Then it was off out to the pub with my girls N, AB, AF, R, LT and LT. Lovely evening of many long vodkas followed by pizza with bolognese sauce. They've redone the pizza place though and I'm not keen - there is now a weird metal fence thingy in the middle of the shop. It was great to catch up with AB again, as she is freshly back from a rather adventurous trip to America. The sky-diving photos scared the hell out of me. For some inexplicable reason there was much talk of Promiscous Boobies. Somehow, we got to that after talking about Nelly Furtado. What can I say? It made sense in conjunction with the alcohol.

Anyway, today is to be spent working on more applications (one of the posh delis are looking for staff) and trying to come up with some photography project for myself. I haven't done anything much for ages and I miss it. I might try and get some exotic fruit, like a dragonfruit maybe, and do some arty shots of that. Not really sure.

Right - off to do something constructive!

The Rage.

2006-09-07T18:56:00.000+01:00

OK, I don't think I have much to say in this one - my creativity has buggered off to Aruba or St Lucia or somewhere equally far away and not here on holiday. Will try to remedy that asap. Staring mindlessly at a keyboard is not much fun, you see.

Anyway, word of advice to all readers out there in the ether - never, I repeat never, go to Primark in the middle of the afternoon. It gives me the rage. It took all the self-control I had to stop me from shouting 'gonna fecking shift' to all the people who think it's completely appropriate to stop dead in the middle of the pavement or the aisle for a wee blether. On the upside, I did bag myself a pair of the covetable and highly saught after (apparently) black skinnies. Other than that I bought batteries and mascara. Thrilling. I was highly tempted by Naked's Rose Body Cream - but it's a tenner a pot so I couldn't really justify it. It smells just like oddfellows sweets and is shimmery, so of course I was tempted. Tomorrow, I might nip along to the big Asda - they're quite a few cute little bits in there before, so I might treat myself to one of them. Maybe the boy fit long-length white shirt.

Right, I have another bundle of applications to do, so please, please wish me luck. I think I'm going slowly insane with little to occupy me except watering my brother's pot plants.

A photo.

2006-09-04T19:21:00.000+01:00

I took this the other day when I was looking for something creative to do to cheer me up. I took a few photos, but this was the only one I liked out the bunch.

Apparently, I have no balls (metaphorically speaking).

2006-09-03T16:27:00.000+01:00

OK, it seems that I have no self-control. I can know that something is an astonishly bad idea, and that by doing it I'm giving up a little bit of dignity, and yet I blunder on regardless.

I've been taking stock and I seem to let people walk all over me. Of course, as the saying goes, it's hard for someone to not walk all over you when you lie down in front of them. I let people hurt me, treat me shockingly badly and basically make me feel rather shit and I say nothing. You see, it appears that I am just too good at seeing the other person's side of the argument. I start off, sure that I'm right in my convictions and slowly, but very surely, they wear me down till I start to think maybe they have a point. My gut instinct is telling me that the person is a knobstick/ bit of a moo (delete as appropriate) and yet I cave. Can someone please tell me why I do his? Or better yet, could they stand next to me and whack me with a big stick everythime it looks like I'm about to make the same mistake all over again?

Points of interest and other ramblings

2006-09-02T14:40:00.001+01:00

Here are a couple of things I though people might find of interest:

Here's an interview with Bill Bryson, taken from the Guardian newspaper. I was delighted to read he's already working on another book - though this is completely different to his previous work by the sound of it.
This new Anthony Bourdain book looks like an interesting antidote to the current cosy view of food and celebrity chefs. I haven't read Kitchen Confidential yet either, so both are on my Amazon wish list, which is growing exponentially.

You know, I love books. I love them when they are crisp and fresh and new, filled with that new-book smell. But I love them when they're worn and dog-eared, and the love the owner has for them is shown in every wrinkle and turned down page. I love the sight of a book shelf, creaking under the weight of neatly stacked books. Incidentally, I sort books by author, and sometimes by subject. Anything more than that is wrong. I mean, people who alphabetise their books are just missing the whole point.

I finished The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid last night. Sniffle. I've decided I might go bananas and scrape the cash together for another new book. The question is, which one? There are so many to choose from. I'm thinking a foodie book, like the one mentioned above, but not a recipe book. Oh, God, it's too hard to choose! Maybe this one, or how about this one?

This is going to take some careful deliberation...

Culture Vulture #2 and other happenings

2006-08-31T18:30:00.000+01:00

Firstly, thanks everyone for your kind comments. It took me a while to respond to some as blogger didn't email me about them, and they didn't show up on the main blog page. They are all very, very appreciated.

OK, cultural happenings...

Thanks Sam for this. I'm ridiculously excited about this - believe it or not, I have often cursed the fact that he didn't have a British website. And I'm loving his new book. It's the perfect thing for curling up with when it's bucketing outside. Add in a cake and you've got perfection.

Secondly, I was thrilled to read this:

"Rufus is presently working feverishly on his new album for release in 2007. Sessions have taken place in N.Y., Berlin and London. Contrary to published reports, there is no specific release date set, the album has not been titled nor has a first single been chosen. You'll be the first to know if you're a regular visitor to this site."

Taken from his website. I've seen him live twice and would happily part with ridiculous sums of cash to see him again. Admittedly, his act isn't for everyone (and it's probably best to stay away if you're the easily offended sort) but I love him.

As soon as I get some cash, I plan on purchasing The Bullet Trick, by Louise Welsh. I sat in the bookshop and read an obscene amount before I thought that I really should stop before I reached the end. I've already read The Cutting Room, but not her novella, Tambourlaine Must Die, and really enjoyed that one, so hopefully this will prove the same.

Other news: well, lots of things are still up in the air, but my big bro got a well deserved promotion today. I really am rather proud of him. (Not, of course, that I would tell him that. I mean, we couldn't have him getting a big head. I jest!)

Think that's about it for now, fellow bloggers. Stay tuned for more gripping career developments :-D

PS - I made chocolate espresso muffins. For the love of God, someone stop me!!!

I am about to throw a major hissy fit.

2006-08-30T11:19:00.000+01:00

So I got yet another rejection letter through. What is the matter with me? I'm competent, a hard worker - if they would just even give me an interview, I'd feel better, that I at least have a chance to sell myself. Have another few applications to do today.

Oh, and I noticed some small print about my contact lense trial. Now, firstly, I only got given the leaflet about the trial after I was fitted with them and the whole thing. It told me the trial price was £30, which is frankly rather bloody steep. My own fault, I should've checked. But they didn't volunteer the information either. Now I find out that apparently, I'm obligated to sign up for and pay for three months worth of kit. Again, they didn't mention this either. I am fecked off.

God, this year started so well, and seems to have severly gone tits up. It's just a bad patch is all. I'll get there. Today I feel I should try and come up with something creative to do to cheer myself up. Being fed up is getting me nowhere. Positivity just takes up so much energy.

Stay tuned, as I'm determined to come up with something creative to post here in an effort to hoist myself out of this pit of despair.

All in all, today's been a bit of a bummer.

I'm cheerier now!

2006-08-29T21:13:00.000+01:00

In the end, I made choc chip and banana muffins. Well, I say muffins, they turned out more like buns. Not nearly floofy enough. I want my muffins big, damn it! (No rude jokes here, please!) But, hey ho, they tasted good, which is the important bit all things considered.

I spoke to G,which cheered me up hugely. Hopefully, I'll get to see her this weekend - maybe a girly evening of vodka, food and DVDs filled with attractive semi-clad people - seeing as I have my bros flat to myself. The joys of flat-sitting, eh? And the new boy seems to be treating her well, which I'm bloody pleased about. (If he hadn't, he would have had me to answer to. And, believe me, where my friends are involved I'm rather strident with wrong-doers.)

Now, I'm going to take my contact lenses out, (should only take an hour - two at the max) then I'm going to bed with the new Bill Bryson. Naughty, I know, but I changed some money at the bank and thought bugger it - I'll be reckless and buy a book. I'm that sort of carefree, daredevil, rock 'n' roll gal.

Night all.

Oh buggery bollocks.

2006-08-29T12:11:00.000+01:00

Well, I got another two job rejections today. One was from Beanscene. I don't think it's to big-headed to say that I hoped I might at least have got an interview for a part-time barista job. The other one was for an office job that I could maybe have fancied, but it's all moot now.

Also, now my dad's Internet Explorer is doing whacky and unusual things. (Apologies for the multiple comments, IM!!) The dude is coming tomorrow to have a look at my PC, though it doesn't look hopeful, according to my big bro. I wish they would just give me the money back, now.

What else? Well, I got sent this video, which is interesting and definitely speaks to me. Although at the moment all it's saying is "look at that guy's hair!!" But I know there's someting deeper and more profound to be had there too.

Today I plan on putting a big jumper on (is anyone else freezing, or is it just me?) and - can you guess? - yup, I'm going to make a cake. Either chocolate espresso cake or banana choc chip muffins. Haven't decided yet.

OK. That's it for now. Unless anyone wants me to recap all the expletives and various other obscentities I've shouted at the computer this morning...

The Big List

2006-08-28T16:30:00.000+01:00

Stolen from Jen’s blog.

Let me start by saying that I am going to be completely honest on this list. I am ashamed of nothing. (No – not even Harry Potter.)

Favourite bands/singers
Rufus Wainwright

Tori Amos

Franz Ferdinand

Goldfrapp

Fiona Apple

Martha Wainwright

Restricted to absolute favourites. It would be a long list if I didn’t.

Favourite films
Shrek

Bound

Wallace and Gromit

Secretary

Before Sunset

After Sunset

Gia

All Over Me

Lost in Translation

Ooh, I could go on. But I’ll stop.

Favourite books
Anything by Bill Bryson

Anything by Sarah Waters

Anything by Chris Brookmyre

The Harry Potter series

As with music, lots and lots of others – but I’m restricting myself to my absolute favourites.

Favourite television shows
Frasier

Tipping the Velvet

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Friends

The Simpsons

Family Guy

The L Word

Sugar Rush

Sex and the City (though Carrie bugged me a lot)

Dr Who

Favourite food/drink
Pasta (Any kind – I’m not fussed.)

Salmon .

Any kind of veggie.

Chocolate cake.

Coffee. (Black.)

Chai tea.

Violet tea.

Peppermint tea. (see a theme developing here?)

Cheese. (though I haven’t learned to love blue cheese.)

Pomegranate juice

Favourite designers
I love fashion, but I don’t have a favourite designer. Too expensive. Makes me weep.

Favourite high street stores
H&M. Love ‘em – so cheap and a huge choice.

Non-clothes stores
Fopp

Delizique

Kember and Jones

Plaisir du Chocolat

Borders

Boots

Which leads me nicely onto: Favourite Cosmetic Brands:
Bourjois – not too expensive, great packaging and amazing eye colours.

The Sanctuary. I love, love, love that smell.

I Intensely Dislike (because ‘hate’ is too strong a word, dont’cha know?):
Cold callers. You should be able to get peace in your own house, for crying out loud.

People who walk through doors you’ve held open and don’t say thanks.

Noise when I’m trying to sleep.

Doors left have open.

Olives. I’ve tried, I really have. Just can’t seem to learn to love them.

The government. Is it just me, or do they not have a clue?

George W. Bush. I don’t need to explain this one, do I?

People who talk about celebrities like they know them.

People who try and foist their opinions on others.

And people who can’t seem to grasp when others have differing opinions to theirs.

Dance music. It all sounds the same!

People who are crude. I’m in no way a prude, but I believe there are times and places for all language.

People who wander about, in there own wee world and they're at the centre.

PC pish gone nuts. I mean, banning Tom and Jerry from smoking? What the hell is that?

On the other hand, I absolutely love:
Peace.

Pianos. The sound they make, the way they look. Can’t play yet, though, and that makes me a bit sad. One of my life goals.

Fresh flowers. I like anything that isn’t too fussy. Sunflowers, roses, birds of paradise. Lilllies might be my fav, though.

Anything that tastes or smells like violet.

That man smell. You know - clean, musky, a hint of nice aftershave.

Georgia O’Keeffe’s work.

Photography.

Music. Good music makes me a bit emotional. Gentle weeping at a concert is never a good look.

Someone cooking for me.

Pattern. Love anything retro inspired.

Glossy American TV, that in no way reflects reality.

Words, language. To hear someone express themselves eloquently is a beautiful thing.

Scented candles. But posh ones. Not into these cheapo fake-smelling ones, though.

Chilling out with my friends, doing nothing in particular.

Curling up in comfy and utterly non-sexy PJs watching the TV and eating copious amount of food.

Anything banana flavoured.

Going out for dinner.

Log fires.

Candlelight.

Watching it snowing through the window.

Rain. I mean when it really, really rains, and I’m tucked up inside.

The westend of Glasgow. It’s a bit hippy, a bit bohemian and I would love to live there. Great cafes, independent shops. Fabulous.

People who are skilled. Doesn’t matter what in – they could be a musician, a great cook, a wonderful singer, a skilled barista, good at DIY. Anything – I love watching someone work at something and you can see their skill.

There we go. Phew. Long list, and it doesn't cover even a teeny weeny bit I don't think!

I am not a happy bunny.

2006-08-28T11:52:00.000+01:00

Well, I sat and filled out an application for front of house and box office staff the other day. The closing date was the 25th at 12noon. I emailed the completed information off around 10ish in the morning. And today I get a jaunty little email in my inbox telling me what a super response they had, and they will no doubt find people for the post, oh and by the way, they won't be processing my application any further because it arrived after the closing date.

Why, oh, why is life such a big pile of manure sometimes?

Anyone think it's worth bothering with an email asking them to check this?

Yup. That's me.

2006-08-26T18:33:00.000+01:00

Finally! That's the first time I've got a picture on my blog without having to go through Flickr. I wonder if it's something to do with the file extension?

I love Garfield with a passion. He is quite possibly one of my heroes. (I'm joking, of course. You know, just in case anyone was wondering.) And this cartoon is very appropriate at the moment. I tell you, it's time to worry when you start empathising with a fat, lazy, fictious cat with a lasagne fetish.

Blast from the past

2006-08-25T12:20:00.001+01:00

I was just on a message board and a poster had the screen name 'Flossie Teacake', which is a blast from the past. I used to get the books on tape from the library and play them on constant loop, which drove my family nuts. Aaw, I feel all nostalgic now, for Flossie and her fur coat.

Boooooorrrreeedddddd.

2006-08-25T12:20:00.000+01:00

Yes - I'm bored. Very, very bored. There are only so many ingenious ways of wasting time you can come up with when you're unemployed. I could tidy up a bit, I suppose, but that's hardly thrilling is it? And I could watch a DVD, but that isn't right either. I need - and I almost hate to admit this - work. Being a lady of leisure clearly wouldn't suit me. Although I suppose if I had a rich husband his money would provide more opportunities for entertainment. Aha! That's what I need! Not a job - I need a sugar daddy. What a pity I don't have one. You see, I get bored easily. I whinge when I'm really busy, but in actual fact, I would happily trade this for busyness.

It's funny how when you're busy, you think of all the many things you wish you had time to do, and as soon as you have the time, you have no money or enthusiasm to do anything much. You know, I can't even really remember what I wanted to do. Maybe if I stood on my head that would work. After all, it's a technique employed by Winnie the Pooh.

*Sigh*

Oh, for the love of God - someone hire me before I go completely crackers!

Seeing as Quinn...

2006-08-24T17:28:00.000+01:00

was a successful recommendation, I thought I'd try two more.

Laki Mera, another Glasgow-based band. - Go on, click this - you know you want to!

And finally, Dead City Riots. A third Glaswegian band whose debut album will be hitting the shops shortly. And, hey, I know the guitarist. Just thought I'd show off.

Quinn

2006-08-24T13:19:00.000+01:00

I know - I'm horribly behind the times. Well, I had heard of them before, but only just got around to listening to them. Bad me.

Go on - have a listen...

Brownie Recipe

2006-08-23T17:32:00.000+01:00

Apologies for tardiness and all that.

OK, here we go, a recipe for some truly delicious brownies. The recipe is originally from that arbiter of hip, Prima:

2zo/50g plain choccie
4oz/125g butter
3 eggs, separated
7oz/200g caster sugar
2oz/50g plain flour
1tsp/5ml baking powder
Pinch of salt
2oz/5og pecan pieces
7in/18cm square cake tine, greased and lined

Preheat the oven to Mark 4/350f/180c.

Melt choccie and butter in pan, then leave to cool slightly

Place the egg yolks and sugar in a bowl and mix well.

Stir in the melted choccie mixture.

Fold in the flour, baking powder, salt and pecans.

Whisk the egg whites until stiff, and then fold them into the mixture.

Pour into cake tin and bake for 30-40 minutes.

Leave to cool, and then turn out of tin.

Cut up. (It says you get 16 brownies out the mixture. Ha! I get ten reasonably sized ones.)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the photo that accompanies the recipe, there are only ten brownies. So either they were talking out their hat about how many the mixture makes, or the cameraman had been scoffing them. I vote the former. Why do recipe writers do that?

Oh, and originally, the recipe called for walnuts, but I prefer pecans. Each to their own.

Bits 'n' bobs

2006-08-22T19:18:00.000+01:00

Another post that is a collection of random things:

My computer is broken again. Can you believe it?
I've finally got my new contact lenses. Now I just have to master putting the damn things in. Seriously - not as easy peasy as it looks!
Applied for yet more jobs. Sigh. This being unemployed malarkey is getting old now.
Apologies for the lack of brownie recipe. I shall remedy this tomorrow! Then I expect you all to baking away merrily :-)
Had lunch with my mum today. She rather fancies the hunky manager guy too.
Have been thinking about doing some self-portrait of the photographic variety. Not sure why, I was always dead against it.
In the process of giving myself a bit of a mini-makeover. I'm tired of having no confidence. Where's the fun in that?

That's it for now. My head is all over the place, which explains the structure of this post.

Here you go...

2006-08-21T14:36:00.000+01:00

Here are the poems. The photo is the proof copy of one of them. Here is the other, that I don't have a proof copy for yet:

Memories
A dense fog
has descended
And there is darkness
where there should only be light

A callous violation
of memories so precious
For they have been stolen
and can never be regained

But I cannot impart
forgiveness
And I cannot make peace with those
whose pleasure is formed from others pain

OK people, be gentle - I feel strange putting these on the internet. I know, they're being published, but still, it feels weird!

Oh, My Words!

2006-08-21T11:01:00.000+01:00

A big cheer for me, please, for am having two - count 'em, two - poems published! I'm so chuffed! I got a letter in this morning saying that one of my poems had been chosen for an anthology, and they had been so impressed they'd like to include another (I sent three in) in a further book they are publishing. I'm just so surprised - I didn't think they were that good.

Yay!

Culture Vulture

2006-08-20T16:15:00.000+01:00

Yes, yes - the title is shamelessly stolen from the Guardian, but as I have mentioned, titles are not my strong point. Anyway, thought I'd write about a few cultural happenings of one variety or another that have taken my attention recently:

A Scanner Darkly
Looking forward to this one. I'm a Robert Downey Jr fan, and I've liked what Linklater work I've seen, so that's added to my curiosity. All this 'interpolated rotoscoping' sounds interesting as well - I'm a sucker for anything animated, so this blend of live action and animating after-the-fact looks up my street. Might go and see this tomorrow in this dinky little cinema that has big leather chairs and non-sticky floors. You can take your beer in as well. And they do Ben and Jerry's. These things are important, you know. Bliss.

The L Word - Season Two
I'm a sucker for glossy American dramas. It's the clothes, you see. And the hair-dos. Oh, and Leisha Hailey cracks me up as Alice. Total escapism. Although I am irked by the fact that we're only getting season 2 on DVD now, while America are at season 4, and we don't even get this on terrestrial. Instead we get Big Brother and The X Factor. Yuck.

The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid
One of my all-time favourite writers. In fact, probably my favourite ever. And I've met him. Looking forward to this book about his childhood in 50s America - he should get plenty of comic anecdotes out of that one. Oh, and I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I've met him.

Brownies!

2006-08-19T19:45:00.000+01:00

Here are the brownies I made earlier. Rather delicious, if I do say so myself. Sadly, I'll have to share them with my brother and SIL tomorrow, so I can't eat them all myself. Bums.

I think I need a hug

2006-08-19T16:27:00.000+01:00

Blergh. I've been trying so, so hard with this positivity schtick recently, but you know, sometimes I run out of energy. There has been, and still is, so much shit to deal with and I'm exhausted. And, right now, I just want a hug.

I made brownies today, which is lovely, and then I started to make a big pot of butternut squash soup for dinner. But I slipped on the squash and cut my finger. Then, two seconds later, I did it again. And it bloody hurts. And it's difficult to type. And I dread to think how much it's going to sting when I wash my hair later.

The lesson here? Sometimes life gets you down, and even brownies can't make it alright. Oh, and look what the fuck you're doing when weilding a big sharp knife.

Call me shallow...

2006-08-18T11:50:00.000+01:00

but I want to buy things. All the lovely autumn clothes are coming out and I haven't a penny to spend. Well, not a penny of my own - I was rather naughty and bought some (very) cheap shoes from Asda yesterday, which my overdraft kindly took care of. Actually, Asda had some lovely bits in. Thankfully, I'm no sartorial snob - supermarket, shmoopermarket, they come up with some nice stuff. Right now, I'm off to Primarni or Pradamark, or whatever you want to call that cut-price mecca Primark. Sure, it's like a jumble sale and there's plenty of tat, but if you search you can find some gems. Cheap gems as well. Oh, how I love that place. Fingers crossed that I find something nice and within my budget (though technically, if it isn't free, it isn't in budget) to sate my shopping desire.

Writing

2006-08-16T12:29:00.000+01:00

After reading Jen's blog it got me thinking about the practice of writing, and why I do it. Maybe I should start with a bit of background....

Why I started writing
I was forced. That's it basically. I'd always loved books and reading, but had a bit of a mental block about writing - I just thought I couldn't do it. When I had essays to write at school, I always struggled to fulfill the word count. It wasn't that I didn't know anything about the subject (well, sometimes it was) but more that as soon as I had to commit words to a page my mind went totally blank. Ironically, I seem to have developed the opposite problem - my last essays for college were all too long, and I had to edit furiously. Anyway, when I went to college I had no choice - we had Creative Writing class and I had just had to get on with it. In my first year at college, the lecturer I had didn't really inspire me. She is a good lecturer, but our writing styles and the topics we like were so different it made things difficult. I don't think my writing was, for want of a better word, flowery enough for her. I did the bare minimum. I can't even remember what I wrote - there was one haiku and a rubbish short story, but there must have been more than that. I used to dread the classes, because we had to read out what we had written, and I'm a private person at the best of times and I bloody hated it. So I scraped through the unit and thanked God that was done with.

Or it was, until the next college year, anyway. This time though, I had a different lecturer. He had a different style of teaching and I actually started to enjoy it more. I won't lie - a skipped his class a few times at the beginning. I used to hang about in the computing room and ducked behind the PC if he came in. Pathetic, I know, but the thought of having to write creatively brought me out in a cold sweat. I think this was largely to do with what I though 'creative writing' was. Lots of flowery poetry. This time, we had a completely different class style, with more varied excercises. One of the ones I enjoyed best, and which I actually liked the result of, was a sort of "ten steps to..." Mine was "how to become a west-end hippy in ten steps." I might post it later if I feel brave. This kind of non-fiction creative writing is much more my bag, perhaps because, in a sense, it's less personal? I remember I wrote a short story, and went to pick it up after it had been corrected, and when he fished it out of the pile it was covered in notes. I let out a squeak because I though he'd ripped it to shreds, but actually there were a few compliments on it. I still have that piece because I was so chuffed it had been so well received.

Last year, though, I didn't have creative writing, just journalism. I haven't written any poetry or shorts stories for a long while, but I have kept up the non-fiction stuff.

I look back at some of the stuff I handed in as course work and I cringe. In fact, I like to block some of it from my memory and pretend I only handed in certain pieces. I don't know why I bother, though - I'm sure it's all been forgotten about now.

Where I am now
I felt my enthusiasm was really running short after completing my main project last year - six pieces, including all research and interviews - but it seems to have returned with a vengeance. Hence the blog. It comes and goes, though - recently I haven't been able to commit what I want to say to the page, or post in this case, but it'll come back again, I'm sure. I want to branch out and start writing more varied things, perhaps having a bash at reviewing or trying short stories again.

What I get from writing
Interesting one, this. I don't know - maybe it's sort of like therapy? Although I'm not sure how therapeutic it is, as there is so much I don't write about. Perhaps you really need to lay everything down for it to work like that? Maybe this is something to ponder. But then again, maybe that would be pointless and suck all the enjoyment out of it. I think it's probably to easy to get caught up thinking about why you write, or desperately wanting to get published.

You see? Right now I feel there is more I want to say about this, but I don't know quite what.

Well, I'll leave it here for now. Other things to be getting on with anyway.

Another party. Even more tired now.

2006-08-15T16:51:00.000+01:00

This time it was G's flatwarming barbecue in Edinburgh. There were lots of people there, but I counted a grand total of four Scots. Every other nation was well represented, though. Tom, being an Aussie man, took charge of the barbie. There was food aplenty and I ate too much. Men lots of fantastic people, including Aussie brothers Dash and Eddie, who earned a permanant place in our good books because they helped us to tidy up, G's flatmates and one of her castmates and plenty of other rather nice people. Didn't get to bed till 4.30am and back up at 9.30am so feeling a bit sleepy and not very alert now.

Tomorrow, I shall attempt to write up a decent, entertaining post as the last few have been a bit pants, I fear.

Now, it's time for food, and then me bed!

Party. Tired Now.

2006-08-13T18:20:00.000+01:00

OK, this isn't going to be a long post, because I'm still knackered. Last night was AF's welcome back party, and as I suspected it was quite a hoolie. I eventually rolled in around 6ish and went to bed around 8am. Although, good for me, I'm not hungover as not a single sip of alcohol passed my lips all night. A good night was had by all, and it was lovely to catch up with people. Although, with all the booze and dancing and other shenanigans of varying degrees of (un)wholesomeness, there wasn't much chance to really blether.

Anyway, I have some things I want to blog about, but right now my head isn't working so I'll leave it here.

The Butler Did It!?

2006-08-12T11:33:00.000+01:00

Well, I won't ruin it and say whether or not Shuffles did in fact do anything. But I will say that the play was excellent. I was surprised at the end when G burst into song, though - she hadn't told me about that! It's always a bit bizarre seeing G act - how her tone, accent and mannerisms all change. In this case, she became Gertie Moneysworth, girlfriend of American movie star and damned scoundrel Chip Boardman. Thinking I'll probably see it again on Monday, when I go through for the flatwarming barbecue (no jokes about setting the place on fire here, please). Sounds like it'll be an interesting party - it seems like half the fringe have been invited.

Before the play, I went back to Plaisir du Chocolate, and bought two identical boxes of choccies - one for my mum, and one for me - and some violet tea. They have all the loose teas stored in beautiful big canisters, and you get to smell before you buy. This is the kind of place I have dreams about.

There was a very bizarre coincidence yesterday, though. My sense of direction is not the best, and, as usual, I was bumbling about on the Cowgate trying to find the Grassmarket where the venue was (it turns out I was quite far in the wrong direction). I eventually reaslised that I had to give in and ask somebody, so I saw a girl wearing what looked like a festival-related t-shirt, so asked her. She said she was walking in that direction anyway, so would walk with me. The comversation from then on went like this:

Girl So, where is it are you're heading?
Me The Lot.
Girl Ah, The Butler Did It!?
Me Yes.
Girl Susan?
Me *stunned look*
Girl I'm L, G's flatmate!

So, that was a strange but lovely coincidence. I tried to convince her to come in and see the play as well, but she had to go back to work. Isn't life strange sometimes?

Anyway, after the play, G, her sister M and her friend P (God - I really need to come up with some better pseudonyms, don't I?) went for some food and beer in the restaurant. After this, we went into another pub - an Irish pub in Edinburgh and we were served by an American. Then P and M's other friend, also called Suzie, showed up and we shared a plate of nachos. My diet was just so healthy yesterday, I tell you.

Anyhoo, they all headed off to see the Black Watch play, which I would love to have seen, but it was sold out. Back at the flat, I saw L again and met another flatmate, R. There was much excitement because they'd just had a phone line and broadband installed.

I headed home around 9ish and got back about 11pm. I am tired now, but tonight is AF's welcome back party, which I having a sneaking suspision might turn into a "welcome back Rach/ happy birthday Nik/ it's Saturday!" type affair.

Right - must go and get food.

More Randomness

2006-08-10T20:24:00.000+01:00

Don't have time to write up a full post, have many things to get ready for tomorrow's trip to Edinburgh (it's play time!) but shall do a few wee bullet points of things that have crossed my radar over the last day or two:

On my way to the opticians yesterday, two young guys drove past in a car, honking the horn, while one leant out the window and shouted "show us your tits". I declined.
At the opticians, I managed to get one contact lens in, but the other one ended up the bin. By accident, obviously.
I made a hummingbird cake - that is a cake flavoured with vanilla, cinammon, crushed pineapple, banana and pecans. By the time the cake was cold enough to frost, most of it had been eaten!
I've found another seven jobs to apply for.
Thankfully, as I got another rejection letter this morning.
I've been worried about my friends - two are due to fly back from London and Uganda anytime now.
I plan on going to Plaisir du Chocolat again tomorrow (it's rapidly turning into my favourite place on the planet) and buying some tea for myself. Maybe violet. The menu is extensive to say the least.
Edited to add: I watched Topcat this morning. Not seen that cartoon in years!

Right, better go and charge camera batteries and get a bit organised. What on earth am I going to wear? After all, you never know when there might be hunky actors about...

Life Overhaul

2006-08-09T18:43:00.000+01:00

Life has been such recently that I've been thinking seriously about what I want from it all.

At the moment, the plan is to get a job for office experience and some cash - I want to save up as much possible over the next year. This would give me options: I could use the money in the near future for a flat deposit if I keep working, I could go to uni and leave the money to gather interest, I could go to uni in Edinburgh and it would pay my rent for the year. At the moment, I really don't know how things will go, but moving through to Edinburgh is appealing. I have friends and family through there already, and like the city. I've got plenty of things I want to achieve in life - oodles of them. But we shall see what the future holds.

Anyway, looking back over my blog, it seems I've gone a bit miserable. Sure, some things haven't been great lately, but I've suffered with depression in the past and got through it, and in comprison this is but a mere tenny weeny blip.

So it's time to pick myself up, slap on some lippie and get out there. Wish me luck!

Aaargh.

2006-08-08T21:16:00.000+01:00

Just have to let off some steam and have a bit of a whinge. Sorry.

My new computer is gubbed. Can't remember if I mentioned this or not, but I'm very pissed off. It's brand new, for crying out loud.
I have no money. Call me shallow, but I'd like to, you know, be able to buy things.
People are annoying. (Disclaimer: not all of them obviously.)
The house is a tip with all the work going on, and as it isn't actually mine, I have no control over this.
My neighbour is a gardener and his crew come over to his around 8am before heading off to their job. And they sit in the garden and talk. Loudly.
I'm applying for job after job after job and not even getting interviews. I've got three more admin jobs to apply for, so cross your fingers for me bloggers!
I should be getting my SQA certificate soon. If they've seen fit to give me my HND anyway. But seriously, if I start on college I won't shut up. And I'll run the risk of having an embolism over it.

Sigh.

Soup!

2006-08-08T16:22:00.000+01:00

This afternoon, I made a kick-ass (God, I don't why I'm using that phrase - I don't even like it) butternut squash and ginger soup. Was rather delicious, even if I do say so myself.

And that's about it for today, so far. Rock 'n' roll, eh?

Eye eye

2006-08-07T14:52:00.000+01:00

I doubt todays will be a very interesting post. Hm. I probably shouldn't say that at the start, huh? Everybody will have left now. Well, for those of you who are still here, this was my day...

This morning, I went to the opticians for a contact lense fitting. I've been wearing glasses since I was about four, and yet I've never had contact lenses. It's funny, it sort of feels like some sort of right of passage - you know like the first time you wax your legs or scurrying past bouncers before they check your fake ID. Er, not that I ever did that, you understand. Anyway, it went ok. It was a bit weird having someone poke me in the eye, but then, generally speaking, people tend not to do that for fear of being thumped. I have to go back on Wednesday till they show me how to put them in myself and such. Think that'll probably go better - I'm sure it's easier to poke myself in the eye. After all, I have done that before.

Then I went to Tesco till my parents bought a few bits and pieces. Can I say, I am most excited by Tesco's new range of herbs, spices and condiments. The packaging is quite snazzy, too. I mean they have anchovy paste and vanilla pods, and and and....I'll move on now. I spend to much talking about food, I think. We went for a bite of lunch afterwards to this nice wee independant book store/cafe near us. I tell you, it's a dangerous thing to have a bookstore within walking distance. Thankfully, I literally have no money to spend, or I'll have lost a fortune.

In the afternoon, I tidied a lot. Sorted through three years worth of college notes, which a weird experience on many levels. Oh, and I dug out the receipt for my PC, which, to use a technical term, is gubbed. Sigh. Brand bloody new as well. I also ventured into the graden for a spot of photography...

This evening will be spent making food (there I go again...) watching trashy TV and then perhaps a spot of pampering.

Tomorrow? Who knows what thrills await...

Yahoo! Radio is screwing with my head.

2006-08-06T14:57:00.000+01:00

Yahoo! radio, is mucking about with my head. It goes swiftly from the sublime to the ridiculous. One minute it's inflicting me with Paris Hilton's new single, then on to some Tori Amos, then back to misery with some crappy rapper dude saying 'hey' and 'yo' a lot, and now we're back to good with Chris Isaac's Wicked Game - might not be the height of cool, but I like it.

It's a good idea in concept, this intelligent radio player, but I seem to be spending a lot of time skipping tracks and blocking artists. I mean Paris Hilton. Who actually wants to listen to her? How Yahoo! got to her from Fiona Apple and Tori Amos is beyond me.

Mish Mash

2006-08-06T13:46:00.000+01:00

I think post is going to be a mish mash of various things again.

Right, first off, dinner last night was a bit strange. I made myself a salad, but forgot the salad leaves. So, really it was just a collection of random ingredients. Then I sat down and started eating it, and realised I hadn't put any salad dressing on. I made a pud as it was my parents 23rd wedding anniversary and I made a strawberry tart, without the tart. I had the strawberrys, I made the creme patisserie, but ran out of time and energy and didn't make the pastry.

Then today, I was trying to print out a job description and it refused to print. I got a bit shirty at this point and shouted 'Dad! Why is this printer not working!?" He came up to look at it, and the thought dawned on me that it might work better if I plugged it in.

Sigh. All this not-using-my-brain time is obviously having a detrimental effect. On the upside, I have found three posts to apply for with the city council. Only admin work, but the pay is good and it would get me office experience.

On to other things now, though they are family-related too. My Grandad was in on Friday to have a pace-maker fitted, and the operation was a success. He was only notified of the appointment on the Wednesday, and I was amazed to learn that he would get in and out on the same day, but he did. As well as his heart condition, my Grandad is 81 now and suffering from Senile Dementia. He's started to deteriote very noticably recently and has started to become aggressive. I'd managed to distance myself from it, but it really hit home at my Nana's birthday party a couple of months ago when he didn't know who me or my brother were, and had to ask my Nana. Even though his memory had been very bad for some time, he had always recognised us before, so it was a bit of a blow. The situation is difficult for everyone, but my aunt J seems to really be bearing the brunt of it. Perhaps it's because she is the oldest of the seven children and is a trained nurse, but it must be very difficult for her to deal with. I have great respect for my aunt, not only because of the way she is handling this, and certainly taking a huge amount of resposibilty for the situation, but also because she is a strong, independant woman and is hugely intelligent. She is one of those people who really are an expert in their field and her knowledge has no doubt helped in this situation immensly. Apparently, my Grandad is in many ways a walking miracle, as he has a very serious heart condition, and it's amazing that he's surviving with it. Not only that, but statistics say that once a person is diagnosed with Senile Demenia, only 5% will survive the next two years. So far, Grandad has made 18 months. I love him to bits, but I must say that the situation is very draining on my Nana. She is 80 now, and had a triple-bypass a couple of years ago. She was doing so well, but she's finding it difficult to cope with Grandad. She also seems to find it difficult to ask for help, or to tell their case workers how difficult she's finding it, so my aunt has to step in for her. Of course, this provokes and aggressive response from her father.

I'm not sure how articulate that post is, but I just wanted to write something down about it.

A Poem

2006-08-05T12:28:00.000+01:00

This is an untitled poem, again written as part of my course. Thinking up titles is not my strong point - as shown by my crap post titles. Anyway, here it is:

Biting her lip,
the distraction of pain
to stop the tears from falling
Drawing blood,
a finger brushed against
a pure red droplet, her nails
carving crescent moons
into the alabaster flesh
A manifestation,
the pain made real

visible to others eyes

Creative Writing

2006-08-04T22:49:00.000+01:00

Inspired by Jen, I though I'd be brave too and post some of my old creative writing. Here are some haiku, which were written as part of my course work a couple of years ago. Now, strictly speaking I suppose these aren't haiku, as they have no kigo (season word), but they are set in the structure of 5-7-5 syllables. Oh, and these are in English, which obviously isn't traditional. I hope what I just wrote is right because, believe me, I'll feel like a fud if it isn't.

Anyway, here they are:

Melting chocolate
Chunky gooey transcendence
Heavenly foodstuff

Crappy Dictaphone
Batteries ran out slyly
No interview now

Raining heavily
Teardrops all around today
Damp trouser bottoms

Clunking lifts breakdown
Claustrophobic terror soon
Hunky firemen rescue

Computer class 6.1
PC malfunctions again
Thrown out of window

Morag’s rain-soaked hair
Drying after the downpour
Blonde highlights curling

Grotty keyboard yuck
Nobody wash their hands now?
Blackness obscures letters

Thumping beat blares out
Bass line shaking the windows
MC Hammer raps

Bad parachute pants
Encourage laughter all around
Fashion tragedy

I seem to have a vague recollection of my CW lecturer showing these to other students as examples of haiku, but I'm not sure if he did or not. Still, they seemed to make him laugh at the time. Strange - I hadn't thought about this stuff for a long time. Haven't written a haiku in donkeys, either.

Waving not Drowning - Part 2

2006-08-04T14:06:00.000+01:00

Day Two - Thursday
I got up, had some breakfast and went for a wander around North Berwick with my mum and dad. Then we stopped in for a coffee and some cake. The carrot cake was rather disappointing - it had raisins in it. Now, I have an irrational hatred of raisins. I can just about stand them on muesli or in chocolate but that's it. Why on earth would anyone want to spoil a good carrot cake with the retched little chewy things? Oh, and the cake was also cream-cheese frostingless. It was all so very, very wrong. Anyway, here are some selected photos:

After my cake-related rant, I said farewell to parents and boarded a train back to Edinburgh. I was meeting Gemma around 1pm and fancied another wander beforehand, as the weather was drier and sunnier and therefore more conducive to photography. After all, holding a bag, brolly and trying to take a decent photo at the same time is a bit of a challenge. So, now for some Edinburgh photos:

I was just heading down the Canongate when I gt a call from G to say she could meet now, but had to dash off again at 2.50pm to see a Fringe preview for work. We met outside Starbucks, but headed for (can you guess?) Plaisir du Chocolat to sit in the sunshine and eat copious amounts of sweet stuff. I must say, she was looking fabulous - tanned and blonde, fresh from Spain. We each had a "Thé glacé aux épices" which was just perfect for the hot sunny weather. We had a fantastic blether and I must say, it reinforced how much I miss being able to see her more often. She had to head back to her flat to let her parents in, so we went for a wander back to her place. However, the whole thing went a bit pear-shaped time-wise and by the time it got organised she' d missed the 2.50pm show, so we just flumped about admiring her new flat. Around 4pm her parents came by and dropped some stuff off and we all had a cup of tea and a natter. Her mum and dad gave us a lift to the show, which I didn't fancy, so I said my goodbyes and headed off to Waverly. It might not sound hugely exciting, but it was one of the best days I've had in a long time. The weather was great, the city was buzzing with Fringe preperations and the company was fanastic.

Speaking to Gemma and getting away from Glasgow has done me a lot of good. It gave me the chance to clear my head, and talk things through with someone who I trust and respect. I'm feeling a lot better about a lot of things than when I left. When I originally got off the train in Edinburgh Waverly, I honestly could've wept - just being somewhere that wasn't Glasgow.

Right now, I'm tired and badly need to give the house a clean. I'm sure later on I'll post more about my mini-mini-hodilay, but not right now. Though I can't wait to get back there next week and see this. Oh, and probably buy some more chocolate. Oh, and visit here, too.

Waving not Drowing - Part One

2006-08-03T21:33:00.000+01:00

Are you sitting comfortably, fellow bloggers? Because this one is going to be long. In fact, no, I think I'll split it into two sections...

Day One (Wednesday)

I got up in the morning and faffed around, changing an opticians appointment, washing my hair, so on and so forth. Then I headed to the train station. My open return to Edinburgh clutched in my hand, I navigated myself across the country. Upon arriving in Edinburgh, I mooched about the shops a bit, and then headed to the Canongate and the delights of Plaisir Du Chocolat, where I bought myself a box of exquisitly wrapped choclates, or 'bonbons' as they call them, being owned by a French dude. Now, these aren't your ordinary run-of-the-mill choclates. Oh no, these are works of art.

See? They're almost too good to eat. Almost, but not quite. The guys at Plaisir Du Chocolat are pretty damn smart. Who else has a chocolate menu that quotes Baudelaire in the introduction?

I was hoping to meet G before I headed off to the coast, but she was still in rehearsals for her play, so we arranged to meet the next day. After this, it was on to the coast, to see my Maw and Paw, who are holidaying through there. So, we had a chat about how their week was going, and in the evening my aunt and uncle came over for a drink and a blether. You see, again I have things to say about that, but think I'll do it in a seperate post.

That was about it for day one, day two was a lot more hectic/ thought-provoking and should hopefully make for a more interesting post.

Smile

2006-08-01T16:39:00.000+01:00

As part of my "haul myself out of a pit of despair" offensive, I decided today smile more. So, here is a list of the things I found to smile at:

The man bobbing his head to his iPod in a ridiculously over the top manner, oblivious to all the other people at the traffic lights staring at him.
Pete, the Hunky Manager Guy. Although, technically, he didn't make me smile so much as glaze over and grin like I'd had a lobotomy. He really shouldn't smile at me, you know, it has a funny effect on my knees.
The blue-tacked sign hung upside down in the window of a deli. No idea how they managed that one.
The toy shop. I went into to this little independant toy shop that I used to go in when I was a kid. It made me remember how I used to buy marbles in there for my collection. That was before I lost them, of course.

That's just a few. The hunt continues.

PS - The one thing that didn't make me smile? My brand new computer going tits up.

I'm Suz and I'm a cake addict.

2006-07-31T21:15:00.000+01:00

I don't know what's happened to me, I really don't. I never used to be this bad. It wasn't unheard of for me to buy and not finish a single muffin. My excuse this time is that I wanted to use my new and deeply groovy muffin cases. See? How pretty!

And, voila! The finished cupcakes (coffee with a cream cheese frosting - I would've liked to top these with little coffee beans, but I didn't have any):

Me, Myself and I

2006-07-31T14:55:00.000+01:00

Let's see. Now this kind of exercise I find inordinately difficult. I can blabber on for a thousand words about nothing in particular, but as soon as it comes to writing something about myself, I clam up. Yes, I know that says something about my psyche, but I didn’t stay in therapy long enough to find out.

I’ve been having a bit of a crap time recently, so I thought maybe writing this in some way might prove to be therapeutic.

Let’s start with some concrete facts - I’m 21. I’ve just finished three years of studying media at college. I have an older brother, mum, dad and wonderful sister-in-law to-be. I have many cousins, aunts, uncles and two grand-parents. I have a cat and a goldfish. I can ride a bike, but not drive a car. You see? This is what I do. None of this really says anything about me, Does it? Not really.

Right now, I feel in limbo. I haven’t got a job yet, and that is hugely frustrating. I don’t suit not having a focus, a purpose, a structure to my day. It’s drives me bananas. Hence this blog - some small focus. Things feel in flux for other reasons, too. Change has been very present, not only in my life, but in the lives of others I know. One of my closest friends, G, moved to Edinburgh last year and I don’t see nearly enough of her now. Phone calls, emails and texts just aren’t the same. For me, that is one of life’s greatest pleasures - sitting having a conversation with someone and really, really opening up. Talking about the stuff that scares you, the stuff that makes you happy. And, for me anyway, there are a very, very select few who I (can) do this with. On the flip side of this, it’s also fantastic to sit with a person who you can open to, but talking utter balls; things of no consequence at all. Relaxing and not worrying about how you look, or if you say something daft, because you know that if they laugh, it’s with you, not at you. These are highly underrated pleasures, I think. I don’t find it easy to trust people, you see. Really trust them. It takes a long time. I mean, we’re talking years, really. Anytime I’ve let things slip to people I haven’t known that long, I usually regret it. There’s more to all this, but not for me to write about now.

For me, people are life. I want my friends to know that I’m there for them. I want to know they’re there for me too. I’m not really into material goods or the like, for me happiness in life is about experiences and the people you share them with. That’s what I’ll look back on when I’m 90. Not the big-screen TV or iPod or anyone of that guff. I’ll think about the people I’ve met and how they’ve affected me.

While I’m busy sitting here feeling sorry for myself, I know that I will feel better. I’ve been down a lot further than this and lived to tell about it. I just have to stick with it, using the tricks I’ve learned to keep myself afloat. I think writing is one of them. I enjoy the process, anyway, and that’s what all this is about, I think - the journey, not the ending.

PS - Man, I wish I could think of better titles.

Mid-Year Goals

2006-07-30T11:49:00.000+01:00

Inspired by Jen, I thought I'd do a list of my Mid-Year Goals as well. Here goes:

To cook more varied dishes. I tend to eat similar things all the time, and now I feel I should break out a bit and try more exotic things, and different ingredients. Already made progress with this, with yesterdays beef yaki soba - I'd eaten, but never cooked with soba noodles before.
To watch more films. I love watching movies, but it's something I rarely seem to do, which doesn't make much sense, I agree. So, first task is to watch the DVDs I've bought but haven't seen yet.
Number three is to go to those places on my 'go to' list that I haven't found the time or energy to visit yet. There's a few (mostly food related!) such as Lim's Chinese Supermarket and IJ Mellis cheesemongers.
Get more excerise. I've been shamed by my friend in the States, who gets up at 6.30am to go running. Now there's dedication for you.
To get more organised. People seem to think I am, and in some ways that may be true. However, they would change their minds if they opened the wardrobe door.

There we go. Five - a nice number to be getting on with for now, I think!

The Fringe, soba noodles and being star-struck

2006-07-29T17:46:00.000+01:00

This is another post with various unrelated items. I tried to find a link, but alas, I couldn't.

I'm about to make a stunning confession: I have never been to the Edinburgh Fringe. Now considering I was a media student, enjoy all forms of art, have friends who are actors and writers, and live in Scotland, this has been an appalling oversight on my part. However, all that is set to change this year. I have a friend who is starring in a play which I shall be going to see. (And quite possibly terrorising the cast with my camera while I'm at it.) Not only that, but I should never have picked up the latest edition of the list. I just keep seeing more and more events I want to go to. I think I shall be very used to kipping on my friend's floor by the end of August.

Yesterday was spent having lunch, drinking copious amount of coffee and touring the delis with my mum. I could spend a fortune - a fortune - in these places. I don't know how I managed to restrain myself. All I bought were some very groovy retro-patterned muffin cases, garlic butter and a packet of soba noodles. I also had an author-spotting. Now, most people get excited about celeb-spotting - but not me. Give me a good author anyday. I saw Zoe Strachan (well, I'm fairly certain it was her. I've met her as well, so it will be doubley embarrassing if it wasn't) in one of the deli/restaurants we visited. I would've said hello, but being me I had a fear that she would get that look on her face - you know, the look that says, "I have no idea whatsoever who you are, but I'll smile and say hello to be polite and get rid of this weirdo." Either that or it wasn't her at all, and I really was a weirdo. When I met Bill Bryson at his book signing and he shook my hand, it made my week. I've spotted rock stars and movie stars, but I get giddier meeting an author I respect. I think that almost sums me up, actually. Oh dear - I really am a geek.

The aforementioned noodles were used this evening in a very delicious (if I do say so myself) beef yaki soba. No matter how knackered I am, I can always find the energy to cook. And todday, I am knackered. I spent my Saturday painting my brother's spare-bedroom "Toasted Almond". Well, painted most of it - I'm too much of a short arse to reach the top. Still, I shall be calling in the favour when I buy my own place. Mwahaha.

I think there was more I meant to write in this post, but I've forgotten.

Some things about me

2006-07-27T10:22:00.000+01:00

So I realised that I'd never properly introduced myself on here. In an effort to rectify this, here are are few random facts about me. I may follow this up with some sort of mini-biography doodah later.

I'm not going to give a number - let's just see how I get on...

1) I’m an Aries.
2) I think horoscopes are a load of bull, but still read mine all the time.

3) I’m a born and bred Glaswegian.
4) One of the few good things about this city is the patter.
5) I have an irrational fear of butterflies. Damned fluttery things.
6) I hate milk with a passion...
7) …and peanuts as well. Even the smell. Although I’m not allergic.
8) I do seem to have developed an allergy to grass, in addition to the hayfever it already gives me.

9) I’m prone to ridiculously obvious crushes. You can tell if I'm in the midst of one, because I can't speak - I just stand there with my mouth gaping open, looking like a goldfish.
10) I can’t wear in-earphones - my ears are too small and they fall out.
11) I’ve never dyed my hair.
12) People seem to have a thing about my hair. In a good way, I think...I hope.
13) I watch Doctor Who purely for David Tennant. Tweed and Converse are perfect compliments to each other, I feel.
14) Sometimes I set my alarm even when I don’t have to get up, just to experience the joy of switching it off and going back to sleep.
15) People always think I’m really organised. I have no desire to quash this misguided belief.
16) I listen to cheesy music on the sly. Funkytown by Lipps Inc. anyone?
17) I’m obsessed with my camera and piss everyone off by taking constant photos.
18) I really do like to think of it as a service to my friends. Think of the wonderful (and, ahem, not quite so wonderful) events I’m documenting. And all the blackmail material I have now. Another benefit of being behind the camera, people.
19) Because of my aforementioned obsession, I am often to be found in the garden photographing various flora and fauna.
20) This caused one of my neighbours to ask if I was a botanist. I thought he was joking.
21) I love colour and pattern. I have, on several occasions, chosen paint colours that have been termed ‘dodgy’ by various family members. They were wrong. And I made them say it.
22) I’m a long vodka connoisseur. And bars, please don’t scrimp and use that cheapo lime cordial stuff. It’s so awful, it’s insulting.
23) I’ve had a haiku published (college book, but still!)
24) I've had two photos included in an online travel guide. My obsession pays off. (Figuratively, not literally, unfortunately.)
25) I enjoy the odd spot of DIY.
26) I love reading but, even so, I often buy books and don’t read them.
27) Even then, I still develop an unnatural attachment to them. I find people who read books once and then give them away one of the great mysteries of the universe.
28) I spent four years studying French and can barely speak a work of it.
29) This disappoints me mightily.
30) An Italian man was once very impressed with me because I knew the Italian for 'wonderful.'
31) It's meraviglioso, by the way.
32) I’ve also spent three years studying something I don’t like all that much.
33) I have no idea what I want to do with my life.
34) Let me rephrase that - I can think of plenty of things to do, but none of them make for terribly sensible career options.
35) I’m understanding to a fault.
36) I’m a perfectionist to a fault, too.
37) Which is why this is the tenth draft. But I got there eventually - and, as they say, it’s the journey that counts.

Sugar Rush

2006-07-26T11:38:00.000+01:00

I don’t watch a lot of television. In fact, I usually see a few things that look good, ring them in the listings and then forget all about them. Such is my way.

However, there are a few programmes I do make a point of watching. I’m talking here about things that are currently being aired - I have a large DVD collection of now defunct shows like Frasier, but that’s a whole other post.

One show I’m enjoying in Sugar Rush. The show is about Kim, a young out lesbian living in Brighton, and is based on a much maligned novel by Julie Burchill. Now, I must admit here that I haven’t read it. A combination of bad reviews and the fact that I can’t stand Burchill at the best of times has meant I’ve steadfastly avoided it. One such review stated “Burchill claims to have written Sugar Rush in ten afternoons. You can tell.” Anyway, if I start a rant on Burchill and the furore surrounding her, I’ll be here all day. Oh, I suppose I really should read the book at some point, just to be able to make a comparison, but frankly, I don’t really want to.

It seems that Channel 4 picked up the option on Sugar Rush, then did the sensible thing - they took the rough premise and ditched everything else. Now, as I have admitted, I can’t compare the show to the book, but the characters within the show have more depth than the caricatures that apparently inhabit the novel. Praise must be given here for the actors involved. I can’t imagine the roles, in particular that of Kim, being easy to play. Olivia Hallinan has taken Kim from being a naïve, closeted girl to out and proud but still approachable over the course of the two series. The various supporting characters of Kim’s family also help to provide more light relief from any heavily emotional material provided by Kim’s relationships, in particular her parents Stella and Nathan and their attempts at fixing their marriage by joining in the local swinging scene.

This series also seems to be more humorous than series one. You may have to see it to find this funny, but the sight of Nathan looking anxious and saying to his wife, “maybe we shouldn’t have had sex with the neighbours” after finding his son experimenting with cross-dressing, unwittingly using a pair of the neighbour's pants, made me laugh.

Between series one and two, there has been an on-screen gap of 18 months, which has annoyed many viewers. This sort of time jump is tricky to pull off, but here it seems to have worked ok. Although I am curious as to how Kim managed to get over her obsession with Sugar, the show has such an unreal, stylised quality to it, the time gap doesn’t bother me. This lack of reality is part of the shows appeal for me. I have angst and emotional trauma in my own life, I don’t want to relax by watching it on the telly as well, thank you very much.

One of the other reasons I watch the show, and I doubt this will come as a surprise to anyone who has read my blog before, is the clothes. Sugar’s outfits are always…interesting in the extreme. Glittery, red knee high socks, anyone? Kim’s on the other hand are none too bad. Interesting colour combinations, various cute little pieces. And I could happily raid Saint’s (you can tell it’s not real life just from the character names, huh?) wardrobe too - loving that red beret.

The music deserves a mention, too. Any show that has Blondie’s One Way or Another as the theme tune is fine by me. Other artists featured on the sound track include Emiliana Torrini, Portishead and Goldfrapp. Actually, I must check out the soundtrack CD. Not something I ever buy, incidentally. Well, not since I bought the Clueless soundtrack, but I was 13 at the time, so that’s my excuse.

In answer to your questions...

2006-07-25T13:34:00.000+01:00

No posts for a day, then three come along at once. Well, Inspector Monkfish asked some very reasonable and sensible questions in a comment on this. Although, just because they are sensible and reasonable doesn't necessarily mean I can answer them. Here goes nothing...

Why did you decide to go to Uni next year rather than this year?
I decided to go to uni next year as opposed to this as I needed a break. I couldn't stand the thought of another year of essays and deadlines and no money and having to deal with lecturers. The thing with work is, it might knacker you, but you go home and can forget about it. All that plus I was just ready for a change. Was originally supposed to go to uni last year, but various factors - the late date I applied and got a place, money issues and so on meant I didn't. I was pretty disappointed at the time. I keep wondering how things would've panned out if I had gone. Lots of things would have turned out differently, I'm sure. I don't know how they would've been different, whether better or worse, so I can't comment.

What sort of jobs are you looking for?
Preferably something in PR or thereabouts. Loosely related in some way to media - after all that's what I've spent years studying! Lots of competition for such jobs, though. I'm applying for various things however.

What would you want to do at Uni?
English or media, I think. Although I quite fancy the idea of going back to college and studying photography, but that's just in the hazy depths of my mind at the moment.

What sort of job do you actually want to do?
Tough question. I don't know. Can I just say something interesting and leave it at that for just now? Maybe something in publishing. Really haven't much of an idea.

Phew. Well, I don't know if that's helped, but at least I've answered all the questions!

Photos of the Day

2006-07-25T13:17:00.000+01:00

Stop the world, I want to get off.

2006-07-25T12:30:00.000+01:00

Well. I've been pretty good lately - positive thinking, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. All that jazz. But. But. Sometimes all that stuff wears a bit thin.

I'm still not about to spill my guts on here. I don't do that in general. I'm not someone who tells people everything. I'm always a bit shocked when I hear myself tell someone something private. There aren't many people that can draw these things out of me. Anyway, a thought has been bubbling away in my head recently, namely, "what the fuck am I doing?" (I apologise for the use of profanity - but believe me, it was necessary.) You know, just in life. It's a feeling I've had before, and I'm fairly certain it'll pass, but in the mean time it's a pain in the arse. The feeling that I'm bumbling along, not really heading anywhere. I know if I stand back and look at my life - I mean really look - I am making progress towards...wherever I'm heading, that there are good things aplenty. But it isn't going quick enough for my liking.

It's funny, in some ways I have lots of patience (too much on occasion) and in other ways I have none. Something to work on. Self-improvement's the name of the game.

All this plus the fact that I seem to stumble over people who simply aren't very nice with alarming frequency. Why are people not nicer to each other? Does it take any more effort than being unpleasant? I should focus on the good people I have in my life, for there are many. Some who are always at the end of the phone, and some who I don't see nearly enough.

As I've said on here before, I feel I have more to say about this. Right now, though, I don't know where to start.

You know, I was going to apologise for such a self-indulgent post, but who I am kidding? Surely a blog, by its very nature, is inherently self-indulgent? So. That's me done, I think. Everyone needs a good vent on occasion.

Right, that's out the way. Normal service should resume shortly.

Party!

2006-07-23T14:52:00.000+01:00

Last night was DC's birthday party, and I'm pleased to announce I did wear my very high, very sexy heels. I even managed to dance in them. I don't know how well I danced in them, but, hell, I had fun. I'm surprised I did, actually - it usually takes a lot of coaxing and a fair amount of alcohol before I'll get up and strut my funky stuff in public.

However, I was slightly disturbed to see what a player my friend's little brother has become. I don't think there was in a single gal in the room whom he hadn't cut a rug (thrown a shape?) with. To me, he'll forever be twelve.

As usual, I took some photos. Didn't manage to get a good one of the happy couple, though. For DC and P are well and truly loved up. P's surprise birthday present was a trip to Paris. I don't know what anyone else got her, as she was saving her presents to open later. I must find out, actually, for I am incredibly nosy - I make no bones about the fact!

As for today, I'm knackered and have a choice between tidying up, filling out job applications and helping M and H decorate their new flat.

Who am I kidding? I'm gonna make some food and watch Almost Famous.

Blondie: One Way or Another

2006-07-23T14:43:00.000+01:00

I watched the Blondie documentary that was on the other night - just how fabulous is that band? Debbie Harry had such a stunning look way back when and she still looks bloody fantastic now. I liked how her hair was so commented on - apparently it was so radical, so trend setting, so daring. Nope - she just couldn’t see the back to do it properly. That kinda tickles me. She had amazing stage presence and had that elusive natural ‘coolness’ that other performers spend their lives trying to recreate. Give me Deborah Harry over Madonna Ciccone any day.

You have to admire how they successfully tackled so many varying musical genres - disco (Heart of Glass) to rap (Rapture) to reggae (Tide is High) Not only that, but they’ve such a lasting effects on music acts of more recent times. Mind you, this isn’t always a good thing - remember Atomic Kitten’s mangled version of Tide is High? If you don’t, you’re lucky.

One thing I did learn from the documentary that I didn’t know was Chris Stein’s enthusiasm for photography. He’s produced some excellent portraits of Debbie Harry. Although this was no doubt helped by his subject - surely it would be pretty difficult to take a crap picture of her?

Anyway, it made me go and dig out all the various Blondie albums I’ve got floating about. It’s just too tempting to sing along though. My poor neighbours.

Tea Enthusing

2006-07-21T21:18:00.000+01:00

I have lot of teas. I am in fact the doyenne of teas - both herbal tinctures and more traditional caffeinated beverages. I remember I brought someone into my house for a cup of tea and I asked what variety would they like. This meant I really would have to go through the list of what was available, so instead I just opened the cupboard. And he responded by looking rather horrified at the vast the choice. So I took the easy option and said “Earl Grey?” (I think he was relieved.) Which he proceeded to drink with milk in it. Philistine!

I always promise that I won’t add to my collection, but it’s an addiction. I just can’t help myself. Right now I’ve got my eye on a cheeky little number - Lime Blossom Herbal Infusion from Whittard. A steal at just £2.40 per 50g. Oh, I should never have looked at the website - Aniseed and Elderflowers is calling out to me as well, now.

I’m especially fond of Chai - hot, spicy, milky tea sweetened with honey. Delicious. This is my usual when I go to the coffee house/café/whatever your preferred name for it is. Although, just to be daring and throw caution to the wind (I’m that kinda gal) the other day I ordered - get this - an iced chai. Sometimes I marvel at my own audaciousness.

Of course all this is not to say that I’m not partial to a nice cup of coffee (I think I may have mentioned this before?) especially when eating cake. I’m still hankering after that stove-top moka.

Though right now I shall satisfy myself with a refreshing cup of fennel.

Oh, and I do believe whatever your beverage of choice is, it tastes better out of a nice cup. Strange, but true.

I am not having a good day.

2006-07-21T10:39:00.000+01:00

Or should that be I'm not having a good week?

The other night I went out wearing a cute little pair of flat shoes. Shoes which I have worn many, many times. But for some deeply inexplicable, highly troubling reason, they decided they were done with being comfy. Maybe they thought "Hey, this chick has been tramping us around on pavements all over the city - let's show her who's boss!" So now I have feet that are mangled.

Then, last night, I was standing adjusting the blind, minding my own business, when the bloody thing fell of the wall on top of my head. Obviously it wanted me to flash my neighbours.

So now I have to attend a party on Saturday with mangled feet and a bump on my noggin. And I might not be able to wear the super-high, super-sexy heels I'd chosen for the occasion - what with the buggered-up feet and concussion.

Humph.

Little Earthquakes

2006-07-19T15:08:00.000+01:00

I'm rubbish at those quizzes that make you pick your favourites - I don't have a favourite anything. Not a book, or a colour, or a food. How could I choose just one out of all the possibilities? I can do favourites plural, though. One of my favourites musicians is Tori Amos. I certainly wouldn't qualify myself as a member of EWF (Ears with Feet) for she herself kinda irritates the crap outa me, but man, that chick can play a piano. Oh, and a random piece of trivia for you readers - listen to 'Tear in my Hand' from Little Earthquakes for a reference to author Neil Gaiman.

So, brace yourself, because here’s the bit where I try to sound intelligent:

Amos is a contemporary female pop-rock singer/songwriter, and is noteworthy as one of the few popular musicians of recent times to utilise the piano as her main instrument.

Although at times lyrically opaque, her songs are intensely emotional, and tackle a vast breadth of subjects, including sexuality, patriarchy and the personal tragedies that have occurred in her life. The lyrics also often include religious symbolism and references, particularly pertaining to the patriarchal system of organised religion.

She is famed for her intensely emotional songs and the feminist stance she takes on the controversial issues which she routinely addresses in her work. Perhaps as a direct result of this, the majority of Amos’s fans are women. While she has enjoyed limited chart success, both in her adopted home of Britain and her native home of America, she has a large cult following. As a result of this, it appears that within popular culture, Amos and feminism seem to have become inextricably intertwined. Amos deals with many issues directly relating to her own sense of feminism within her work, including such issues as sexuality, patriarchy and sense of self as a woman.

Above all else, Amos’s gender is central to both the creation and interpretation of her work. These issues of gender impact heavily on the criticism of Amos’s music, as her carefully constructed performance persona could be viewed as an attempt to create a new image of female sexuality, and to craft a new and strong female voice for both men and women to respond to. It seems as though her intention for this new voice is to challenge the long established roles for women within what she regards as a patriarchal society, and also to be a voice with which her predominately female audience can identify.

Her stage presence is a carefully crafted blend of the seemingly intimate and spontaneous. Despite this, her performances also have an air of the operatic or theatrical to them, perhaps in part due to the various mix of elements, aside from the music, that help to shape her performances – the costumes, lighting and visual effects are all carefully selected by Amos to help her present an image and experience that the audience are going to partake of.

In all aspects of her work, lyrically and visually, Amos’s sexuality is ever-present. It is commented upon often with perhaps more vigour than her musical work is critiqued. While it is true that all women in the public eye have a sexual image to some degree, sex and sexuality appear to have become inextricably linked with Amos as a woman, as well as a performer. With regards to her on-stage performances, her sexuality is clearly displayed in acts of what could be termed as simulated masturbation, as she writhes on her bench while playing. These displays seem in part designed to be seen as an act of defiance of the well-established sexual roles for women within society. As well as this, their meaning is also perhaps to acknowledge the self-consciousness she feels of being subject to the audience’s stare.

Although there are the aforementioned scenes of apparent sexual defiance, it is important to note than Amos does not appear to use her sexuality as a tool for manipulating her audience in the same manner that other female performers, such Madonna or Britney Spears, appear to. While they use their sexuality to achieve their own ends, while perhaps sacrificing something of themselves along the way, Amos seems more keen for her sexuality to be acknowledged as an innate part of her a woman, not just a performer, in the same way as a man’s sexuality is currently regarded within our society.

Phew. This is a very heavily edited (also known as hacking the crap out of the original) version of an essay I wrote last year. Thinking I might go back and expand on the original once I’ve had a bit of distance from it.

Oh, and I would upload a track or two, but I haven't got round to figuring out all the technical dooley-bops necessary for that one.

Half-life

2006-07-19T12:44:00.000+01:00

Ah, I am a gaming geek. In a fit of tidying out recently I re-discovered a computer game that both I and my brother (ok - just me. I'm just trying to share out the geekiness.) used to be obsessed with - Half-life. In the game, you play a character called Dr Gordon Freeman, who works in the Anomalous Materials department. After an experiment goes hideously wrong, and the Black Mesa research facility is invaded by alien beings, he must save the day in typical heroic stylee. Yes, yes, it's a load of mince narrative-wise, but it's a hell of a lot of fun. Glooping aliens with a variety of weapons is a fabulous way of getting rid of some aggression. And once you've saved the world once, you can progress on to Half-life BlueShift playing Barney and finally Half-life Opposing Force playing a military goon. Hours of good, honest fun.

Also rediscovering my inner hero will give me something to do when escaping from the heat outdoors. It is too hot. I can stand it during the day, but it's murder trying to sleep in it. And to think I stupidly chucked out my fan because it had stopped oscillating (fabulous word).

This evening I shall fling on something floaty and brave the heat to enjoy good-natured banter and iced-coffee. What else can you do, eh?

Red sky at night

2006-07-18T23:32:00.000+01:00

The Concretes

2006-07-18T15:57:00.000+01:00

Have a lookie-see.

I *think* I'm quite liking them. They're summery and make me want to dress like a hippy (well, I have got the hair for it). Although, maybe I dress like a hippy already? I don't know.

My head seems to have lost the plot recently.

Blurgh.

Bits ‘n’ Pieces

2006-07-17T19:34:00.000+01:00

I couldn't think of any way to link these disparate items, or stretch an entire post out of each so here they are:

How nice is this kettle? I don't need a kettle at all, but if I did, I would buy this one. Who knew kettles could be so stylish?

I kinda wish I'd seen this. Though given the choice, I'd want to see him perform his own work again. Hopefully he'll come back to Britain and do some more gigs soon. Oh, and this time he'd better not play the Armadillo.

And finally, I've thought of some more things to add to my previous post:
7. Fresh, crisp, new bedlinen.
8. The smell of conifers after the rain.
9. Opening a brand new book and cracking the spine.

Fashion! Turn to the left...

2006-07-17T18:18:00.000+01:00

I was sorting out my wardrobe yesterday. OK, if I’m honest, I was sorting out my ironing basket, which is threatening to mutiny and take over the whole room. Anyway, I realised how many items I own with dots. I detest anyone who buys into a trend for no other reason than it’s popular, and I was suddenly struck with a terror that I was a *whisper it* fashion victim. However, I managed to talk myself down by saying that many of the pieces were in fact not polka-dot, but actually had a large circular pattern, and anyway I only buy things if I like them. I also take comfort in the fact that I haven’t bought into the current leggings obsession. It’s not impossible to look good in them, but lets face it, you need the figure of Kate Moss.

I love fashion with a zeal shared only by my love for food. I don’t have great confidence when it comes to actually wearing clothes, though - I either feel I haven’t made enough effort, or made too much and I look contrived. Well, I used to feel that way, recently I’ve felt more comfortable about the whole thing. Somewhere in my head the notion that fashion should be fun, and that maybe the fun shouldn’t stop as soon as I take the clothes off the hanger, finally clicked.

My friend R is a fashion design student, and, to me, has that indefinable quality that makes someone seem like the most interesting, stylish person in the place - she‘s ‘cool‘. Therefore, each time this happens I’m just as amazed as the first time - almost every time I see her, she demands to know where I got some item of clothing I’m wearing from. She has been known to ask if she can riffle through my wardrobe. The girl has even said ‘Suz, you’re always wearing such amazing things!’ This is definitely an ego boost, let me tell you.

Maybe all this sounds shallow, but it’s the truth - fashion is fun, and if any men reading this think women dress for them, they’re wrong. Well, occasionally we do - but only if you’re very nice to us. Or there is the prospect of you being very nice to us. Women dress for other women. Receiving a compliment from another women is one of life’s great pleasures.

I guess fashion appeals to the creative side of me - working with colour and pattern and shape. I will never understand how people such as Victoria Beckham gets lauded as a fashion icon - I have nothing against the woman, but she wears head-to-toe (or head-to-bum-cheek, recently) designer. Where’s the fun in that? It doesn’t take any imagination; it tells you nothing about their personality. I like rummaging through Primark, H&M, New Look (all the cheapie shops) and coming up with something. I know I wouldn’t get the same buzz paying £800 for a bag. In fact, I think it would make me baulk. I also know that vintage is all the rage, but I’ll admit to being a wee bit funny about wearing someone else’s clothes. Who knows where they’ve been? Maybe not terribly fashionista of me, but never mind - vintage is just another trend to follow or disregard.

I was taking about this recently with my friend, about what it is to be, or not be, a typical ‘girlie girl.’ I wouldn’t say that I am a typical girlie girl, if in fact there is such a thing. But I do love clothes, dressing-up, make-up - the whole shebang. I love being a woman.

Maybe I’m not talking about ‘fashion’ here - to me, that’s a different thing to loving clothes. I suppose I’m more talking about style. Besides, ’fashion’ is too big a debate to tackle here. What is fashion? Is high-fashion art? Is it worth the money? And so on. I feel I have more to write about this, but I’ll leave it here for just now.

As it turns out...

2006-07-16T12:20:00.000+01:00

it isn't my fault that I'm obssesed with cakes and such - my great-great-grandfather was a baker. So it's in the genes.

Before Sunset

2006-07-16T10:40:00.000+01:00

Oh, dear. Since I watched my Before Sunrise/ Before Sunset double bill (well, because of Before Sunset, obviously) I've had this desperate yearning to go to Paris. To sit in a cafe, with someone I like, drinking coffee. But, it looks like that dream will have to be put on the back burner, for numerous reasons - primarily, I have no money, and neither does anyone else. I know I've made a whole big thing with myself recently about enjoying the small things in life, but sometimes my dreams and ambitions turn up and smack me round the head, and suddenly I'm engulfed in a horrible cloud of frustration. I suppose the aim is to enjoy the small pleasures without letting go of your dreams. Sounds easy, but it's a skill not many people master, I think.

Back to the movies. Well, I really need more time to digest them before I can write any sort of critique. One of my pet hates is when you come out of the cinema or theatre, or even a gig, and you're expected to have formed an opinion already. I mean, obviously I can say whether or not I hated something, or if it has given me pause for thought, but that would be about the sum total of my input into the conversation. At this point, I can say that Before Sunset is my favourite of the two.

Right, I must mention small pleasures. Well, yesterday I treated myself to a new silicon spatula. You know you're a cool, hip, chick with your finger on the pulse when you get excited about kitchen utensils. And, of course, I had to road test my new spatula, so I made chocolate cherry cupcakes. I'd like to say here that I don't personally consume all the sweet things I make - I'll have one or two, or a slice of whatever, and the rest gets shared around. I'm not that bad that I eat it all myself. Although I realised my enthusiasm was maybe getting a bit much when I found a blog dedicated to cupcakes and I squeaked with excitement.

Also, just to prove that I do make healthy (well, healthier) things now and again, I've included a photo of the very delicious salad I made for dinner last night.

Some things I did this week

2006-07-15T18:13:00.000+01:00

- dropped a chocolate cupcake on the floor. Frosting side down.
- went out wearing two odd socks. Accidently, of course.
- had a film marathon.
- wrote letters, texts and emails to people in Uganda, America, Spain, London and New Zealand.
- drank way too much coffee.
- spent too long blethering on MSN.
- bought someone a bunch of flowers, just because.
- filled out many job application forms, and managed to stay awake.
- got laughed at because I'm rubbish at wheeling a pram about.
- ended up with sore muscles from wheeling said pram about.
- hung out in the Tinderbox.
- eavesdropped on manager cunducting interviews in the Tinderbox.
- worked out I had £24 in small change.

Random Photo of the Day

2006-07-15T11:25:00.000+01:00

Some good things...

2006-07-14T13:59:00.000+01:00

Life can be a bit hard at times, so here is a list of some good things:

1. I am so thankful for my friends - those girls keep me grounded, keep me sane and give me a bloody good laugh along the way. (You keep that big stick handy, N!)
2. And my family - they too keep me grounded, keep me sane, and give me a bloody good laugh as well. (M - I might take you up on your offer.)
3. C is back in the country - looking forward to meeting up!
4. Got a good hoolie coming up - now I just need to come up with an outfit...
5. I've done lots of walking this week - I do like to feel all virtuous.
6. The sun is out.

The Little Things in Life

2006-07-13T21:45:00.000+01:00

Today I was musing on the nice things in life - some of the more underappreciated pleasures. Here are a few of mine:

1. That smell you get when you walk past a fruit shop.
2. People watching. I love sitting in a café, just watching everyone. My friends and I particularly enjoy spying couples obviously on their first date - it’s surprisingly easy. It’s also pretty easy to tell when it’s going well and when it’s going tits up.
3. Coffee. Really good quality coffee. Must be black.
4. Chocolate, to go with the coffee. Really dark, bitter stuff. The higher percentage of cocoa solids, the better. None of this sickly Galaxy pap.
5. Laughing. I love that state where I’m laughing so hard that I’ve gone silent - just tears streaming down my face and my shoulders shaking. Of course, seeing me like this usually makes everyone else laugh as well.
6. Dawn. Favourite time of the day, no question. It’s tranquil before everyone else gets up and starts making noise. The light is always so beautiful, I love that delicate pink the sky often is. (Obviously I’m talking about the summer here, though clear autumn/winter days are good too.)
7. Making a ritual of the wee things. For example, reading a magazine. First you need to set the scene: a freshly brewed cup of coffee - or chai - a slice of some delectably gooey cake. Then you need to flick through without pausing to read anything fully. Then going back through, reading articles in order of interest.

These are the ones that spring to mind, though I know there are many more.

In London Town

2006-07-12T19:49:00.000+01:00

I really want to go and see this exhibition, but as usual I'm...what's the word? Skint? Potless? Financially challenged?

I wonder if I could sweet talk R into letting me kip on her floor...

Edited to alter link - thanks IM.

Tea for Two

2006-07-12T19:15:00.000+01:00

Today I met L for lunch. I also got a nasty surprise, in that it was my turn to pay for both our lunches. I'd rather forgotten she paid last time. Bugger.

We went to three places before finally settling on Brel. I hummed and hawed, looking at the menu, ignoring the most interesting main courses, instead focusing on the sandwiches. (Solely because they were cheaper. Oh, the joys of being unemployed.) In the end, I went for the 'beef and mustard sandwich with crispy onions on rye.' I must admit, when it arrived, I was rather disappointed. The salad and dressing were pleasant, the bread fresh - but I tell ya, hardly any onions were killed in the making of that sandwich. And they weren't crispy either. The mustard was also ladled on rather too enthusiastically. But hey-ho, I suppose the company is more important than the food. And L is always good for salacious gossip and juicy tales. In other words, a perfect dining companion.

Tonight, I plan on tidying up a bit, catch up with some correspondence and then settle down with a cup of Brewhaha Rose Tea (this stuff is delicious, and the packaging is nicely retro chic - see photo.) and watching a Before Sunrise/Before Sunset double bill.

Also, if someone could slap me every time I hit the 'Publish Post' button when I mean to press the 'Save as Draft' button, I'd be very grateful.

Oh, and if that person could also stop me going to fancy-pants delis, spending too much money and ordering the six cup stove-top moka I've seen on Amazon I'd be even more grateful.

Way To Go

2006-07-11T22:19:00.000+01:00

*sigh*

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. I feel the need to be specific, here - I wouldn’t want anyone thinking I watch that abomination starring David Caruso. He has one stance and expression that he wheels out to cover absolutely any emotion - stand with hands on hips, clench jaw and stare into the middle distance. Oh, actually, I take it back - if it’s a particularly heart-rending scene, he’ll take his sunglasses off. The original cast of CSI were pissed off when this came on the air. Man, you can see why.

Anyway, I digress. It was the season finale of CSI tonight, and I am not a happy bunny. What will I watch now? The television schedules are a no-mans land of mind-numbing daytime telly (presented by unnaturally tanned people), and reality TV (starring, well, unnaturally tanned people).

Now, I’m not going to pretend for a second that CSI is a classic, a benchmark in terms of modern art - I mean, the thing is full of holes. For example, why do they never wear overalls? And why do the women totter around in high heels with their hair flying about all over the place? Surely that must contravene some H & S rules? But the show is entertaining, with interesting stories and an unfeasibly attractive cast, and that is pretty much all I care about at 9pm on a Tuesday night.

You know, thinking about it, I don’t know why I’m so bothered - after all, Five will probably show repeats of CSI on a loop till the new series begins. As long as I’m still able to get my Grissom fix, that’s all I’m worried about.

School's out for summer

2006-07-11T10:35:00.000+01:00

...school’s out for ever. Well, not for ever, probably. I still intend to go to university next year. But school (college) is most definitely out for a while, and has been for a month or so. Only now I am starting to get my around it.

I’d been going to the same college for three years (I was the only person who lasted from the first class right through all three years), working towards a qualification I’m still not sure I’ve got (slight issues with the department lecturers on that one), with my life revolving around essays, projects and assessments. Even now, I find myself having an ‘I’ve got so much to do’ panic before I realise that, actually, I don’t. Three years of my life in one place - it’s gonna take a big adjustment to not be there anymore. Though, funnily enough, the only thing I miss about the place so far is those Caribbean chicken corn snack things they had in the canteen. And you can get them anywhere.

Something I’ve noticed, and I’m not going to try and pass this off as a hugely original thought, is that studying something can really bugger up your enthusiasm for it. However, with a little bit of distance, there are some projects I undertook as coursework I’d like to return to, work a bit more on. Although, in contrast to this, college introduced me to or helped to foster things I now have a passion for - writing for one. So you can blame them for this blog.

Aside from the work, I never made great friends there to miss. The class was cliquey in the extreme. There were the loaners, always on the periphery and never really participating, the Barbie crew, and the group I got lumped with. Not sure quite what you’d call them, to be honest. They were a tight knit bunch and they just seemed to put up with me. We never really had anything in common, which I’ll admit I found both disappointing and slightly surprising. I would have thought, given the nature and subject of the course that we would have had something in common to talk about - films, music, books. But there didn't seem to be anything - we had different interests.

As easy as it would be to spew venom about some of the people I met, I’m going to try and be stoical. We were different, that’s all. I suppose, for me, what truly and deeply…annoyed me? disappointed me? at the time was their inability to see beyond themselves. Nothing and no-one remotely different could escape without seething criticism or utter bafflement. That isn’t how my mind works - I try hard to foster the exact opposite attitude. I can judge too, but it’s not a quality I find attractive, and so I try and curb it. I try and be more understanding, less judgmental, more open-minded. Sometimes I might succeed, other times I might fail, but at least I try. I can remember we were all sitting in the canteen one lunchtime, and we ended up talking about foreign food. I said ‘oh, I like sushi,’ which was met with a squint and a wrinkling of the nose, and A saying ‘yeah - you look like the type of person that would like sushi.’ I wasn’t sure how to interpret that. Did she mean I looked Japanese? Doubtful, what with the red hair. Either way, I don’t think it was a compliment. In fact a lot of things I said were met with that expression. So in the end, I stopped saying anything.

Of course, it wasn’t just the other students - I had various lecturers to deal with. I must say, you’d be hard pushed to find a more diverse, colourful selection of characters elsewhere. That department offered a wealth of fabulous writing material. Not that I’ll be utilising it, you understand. For all the anonymity of a blog (I suppose if you analyse it, it may not be as anonymous as you’d think at first sight) I’m reluctant to talk too much about the people I met there. I have my own private thoughts about each and every one of them - some good and some bad - but I don’t necessarily think they are for public consumption. I can't share my innermost thoughts and feelings here.

What I will say is that some of the people I met had a lasting effect on me, and how I view the world. Who I am and my view of the world has changed so much over the last few years, due to many factors and not just college. I’m interested to see where I’ll go next.

Hey, Cupcake...

2006-07-10T13:21:00.000+01:00

I’ve been at it again - more baked goods. This time in the form of some very prettily decorated (if I do say so myself) cupcakes. Yesterday, I had a sudden urge to make something involving disgusting amounts of frosting and little sugar flowers. The frosting ended up yellow, but in fact I had a wanted a delicate shade of pistachio green, with little pink sugar flowers - in my head a sort of a retro ‘50s theme. But Tesco, amazingly, didn’t stock pistachio green food colouring. Honestly. I mean, isn’t everyone as concerned with the colour of their frosting?

Anyway, visions of American roadside diners floated through my head. Me, coffee pot clutched permanently in hand, wearing a cute little uniform - maybe a full skirt, a little apron - name tag stating ‘Patty.’ A beehive hairdo and frosted pink finger nails. A trucker called Earl demanding coffee, me responding in a deep, honeyed tones, “just a minute, hon…” while I busy myself with wedges of apple pie and eggs over-easy…

*cough*

Anyway.

Tesco didn’t want to play and didn’t have the green food colouring. So instead, I went for a jaunty pale yellow shade. As Nigella so beautifully sums it up, ‘pastel shades work best here, whatever your everyday aesthetic.’

Musicology

2006-07-09T20:06:00.000+01:00

I have this habit that people seem to find a bit strange. Well, actually it's two things, now that I think about it.

One: it takes me ages to get into an album. I mean, seriously, we're talking months here. I've got a couple of albums, some I bought, and some copies that I got given last year by friends, and I still haven't gotten into them properly yet. In fact, some of them I haven't listened to the whole way through. (I would apologise for being a shite friend here, but it's the way I am - sorry.) I’ve only just got round to saving Beth Gibbons and Rustin’ Man to the hard rive and I bought that about six months ago. A few others will go on tonight. Perhaps it's because I listen to a lot of music on the computer, so I tend to skip through tracks, not listening to some, listening to others a few times, so I never tend to listen to an album right the way through. I guess I'm sticking two fingers up to the artists and their record companies who slave away over a hot track list to decide the order they appear on the album, but never mind. It takes me an age to discover each track individually and learn to love it. So, if any of you anonymous lot out there have ever given me an album, bear with me - I shall get back to you with my opinion by next Christmas. Ish.

Two: I can be insanely obsessed with someone’s music, and not like them, or even find them downright irritating, as a person. A good example of this would Tori Amos. I love, love, love her music (well, the older stuff anyway), but listening to her being interviewed is, for me, akin to Chinese water torture. Or being made to listen to Agadoo on repeat. But I can still feel an affinity with their lyrics even if I don’t like them. Strange, I admit. So, it is important for me to know what they are singing. Foreign languages are out. I don’t want to fall in love with a song only to find out they’re singing their shopping list.

On a separate, though related, topic, can I just say how much I detest this new breed of female singer-songwriters. Or should that be "singer-songwriters"? Corinne Bailey-Rae, Lily Allen, Sandi Thom and so on. I'm trying to think how to articulate my feelings about them without resorting to wailing 'they're crap!', but I'm not sure it can be done. They seem to fit into two distinct categories: sugary sweet chill-out pap or faux-angst piffle. I'm not sure which annoys me more. Can't they attempt to come up with at least a semi-original topic? ‘The world is a big bad place and a man has screwed me over.’ Well, join the club honey. Sing about your breakfast, or your postman, or the dust-bunnies under your bed. Anything original would do.

I don’t know if the current pop-culture climate has been deluged with a higher than normal level of material that is the musical equivalent of tapioca, or whether it’s always been like this, but, to use a technical term, it’s doing my nut in and I wish they would all go away.

At this stage I would like to clarify that I am in no way a musical snob (see my post entitled, er, ‘Untitled’ for proof) but I just can’t stand that people seem to be taken in by the music industry ‘this-is-the-next-big-thing’ tripe. I love some musical cheese, but even then I would rather it was by someone who had more personality than an amoeba. Or at least a decent tune and lyrics that don’t make me snort with derision.

Phew. I feel much better now.

Think think think.

2006-07-09T14:42:00.000+01:00

Halfway down the stairs
Halfway down the stairs
Is a stair where I sit:
There isn't any other stair quite like it.
I'm not at the bottom, I'm not at the top:
So this is the stair where I always stop.

Halfway up the stairs
Isn't up, and isn't down.
It isn't in the nursery, it isn't in the town:
And all sorts of funny thoughts Run round my head:
"It isn't really anywhere! It's somewhere else instead!"

(A A Milne)

I was reminded of this poem this afternoon, when I was walking downstairs. This is what I used to do when I was a kid - I'd plonk myself on one of the stairs and just sit there. It was where I did my thinking. I found it a good place to think - it wasn't in any of the rooms, it wasn't really anywhere, and there wasn't usually anyone else hanging around to distract me. Sitting in the middle of the stairs was comforting. Hey, I didn't have a security blanket, so I had to have something.

In my old house, there was quite a grand looking staircase, and I found the optimal step for thinking was the half-landing. But I've since moved house and the new staircase isn't nearly as well suited to this. Which is a shame, because that's what I seem to be doing a lot of at the moment. And, since I'm not five anymore, I might attract some strange looks.

I'll just have to find somewhere else. Any suggestions?

A rose by any other name...

2006-07-08T15:27:00.000+01:00

I’ve had my PC for a few weeks now, and I’m still discovering software I didn’t even know it had. Today, I stumbled across Windows Movie Maker and had hours of fun. The wee movie I’ve got here isn’t likely to win any Oscars (and the name is utter pish and totally unoriginal), but I had a lot of fun making it. And, I must admit, I surprised myself at how easy it was - it seems that the three years I spent at college studying media aren’t totally without merit. God, and there was me thinking that Video Production had been a waste of time!

The Misadventures of Suzie

Alas, my muse hath deserted me.

Congraduations to me

I'm sorry, I haven't a clue

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

And it went...

C'est très étrange!

To apply, or not to apply?

Oh, Lordy

Some things I've done...

I want one.

Bit of a wobble.

Um. Clever title pending. Again.

Food, glorious food

It's naantastic!

Phototastic

Hhhhmmmmmmmmm...

Autumn

What do your doodles say about you?

Molten Choccie Cakes

Of leg wax, piglet burgers and c-list (sorry) celebs.

Well....

Oh, no :-(

It's the Pitts

Extra! Extra!

The day today

Whoo!

Thank God for that!

Afternoon all.

The Rage.

A photo.

Apparently, I have no balls (metaphorically speaking).

Points of interest and other ramblings

Culture Vulture #2 and other happenings

I am about to throw a *major* hissy fit.

I'm cheerier now!

Oh buggery bollocks.

The Big List

I am not a happy bunny.

Yup. That's me.

Blast from the past

Boooooorrrreeedddddd.

Seeing as Quinn...

Quinn

Brownie Recipe

Bits 'n' bobs

Here you go...

Oh, My Words!

Culture Vulture

Brownies!

I think I need a hug

Call me shallow...

Writing

Another party. Even more tired now.

Party. Tired Now.

The Butler Did It!?

More Randomness

Life Overhaul

Aaargh.

Soup!

Eye eye

Yahoo! Radio is screwing with my head.

Mish Mash

A Poem

Creative Writing

Waving not Drowning - Part 2

Waving not Drowing - Part One

Smile

I'm Suz and I'm a cake addict.

Me, Myself and I

Mid-Year Goals

The Fringe, soba noodles and being star-struck

Some things about me

Sugar Rush

In answer to your questions...

Photos of the Day

Stop the world, I want to get off.

Party!

Blondie: One Way or Another

Tea Enthusing

I am about to throw a major hissy fit.