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Sunday, September 03, 2006

Apparently, I have no balls (metaphorically speaking).

OK, it seems that I have no self-control. I can know that something is an astonishly bad idea, and that by doing it I'm giving up a little bit of dignity, and yet I blunder on regardless.

I've been taking stock and I seem to let people walk all over me. Of course, as the saying goes, it's hard for someone to not walk all over you when you lie down in front of them. I let people hurt me, treat me shockingly badly and basically make me feel rather shit and I say nothing. You see, it appears that I am just too good at seeing the other person's side of the argument. I start off, sure that I'm right in my convictions and slowly, but very surely, they wear me down till I start to think maybe they have a point. My gut instinct is telling me that the person is a knobstick/ bit of a moo (delete as appropriate) and yet I cave. Can someone please tell me why I do his? Or better yet, could they stand next to me and whack me with a big stick everythime it looks like I'm about to make the same mistake all over again?

7 Comments:

At 11:43 AM, Blogger Inspector Monkfish2 said...

Well, it sounds like it kind of depends on whether they actually have a point or not, and whether you do end up genuinely accepting a different stance on the issue.

Surely it's better to accept a good point than to deny it?

If you're anything like me, then given a couple of hours (i.e. when the conversation's over) your mind will suddenly kick up a few new arguments though ;) If that happens, I tend to then spit them back out at the next hint of a similar conversation resurrecting itself ;)

Of course, I also have days where I stick to my point, and come the next day admit that perhaps I was wrong ;)

 
At 12:27 PM, Blogger Suz said...

Looking at it objectively (or as objectively as is possible) I do have a point. And everyone who is around and knows the situation, is agreeing with me (about these particular issues - I can't say they always would!) that I am in the right here. The problem is I hate confrontation, so end up backing down, or not raising the issue at all.

Ugh, people are hard work!

 
At 7:33 PM, Blogger Jen said...

Suz-I can't really offer any advice as I'm the same as you-I hate, *hate* confrontation, so avoid it all cost, often to the detriment of what's "best" for me.

I think this is probably why you cave; you'd go to any lengths to avoid confrontation, and so choose (subconsciously I gather) to 'give in' to the majority rather than stand up for yourself.
Didn't mean that to sound in any way patronising..so really hope it hasn't come across as so ((hug)).

I think for us, sometimes we need to stand back, and take stock of the situation, to really think: 'hang on a moment-*why* am I doing this?'

It helps to get some perspective/clarity and reminds us that we shouldn't feel swayed by other people.

Big (hug)

Jen xx

 
At 9:28 PM, Blogger Suz said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 9:29 PM, Blogger Suz said...

Doesn't sound patronising at all! Feelings are such strange things. They make us act in silly ways sometimes. I just have a fear of rocking the boat. Although a rocked boat would be preferable to letting myself get walked over! Still - I'm working on it! Believe me, the next time I'll stick up for myself.

Thank, Jen ((hug))

 
At 1:55 PM, Blogger Inspector Monkfish2 said...

Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn ;)

 
At 7:14 PM, Blogger Scarlett said...

you can have some of my stubborness if you like - I get so het up about people telling me what to do that I just put my foot down, sure its good when sticking up for myself, but not all the time!

x

 

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